swearing

When I was little, my dad always cursed around me. Well, eventually I picked up his words. I thought they were everyday, friendly, common words that wouldn't hurt anyone. So on my first day of kindergarten I shouted "Hi Mrs. Brooks! You look very bitchy today!" I got sent to the principal's office who then asked me why I said those things. I told her "I was just bein so damn nice!"

Jackie Magik

When my dad would say "Damnation!" I thought he was saying dalmation.

Matt

When my cousin was about five the word truck and the "F" word sounded the same out of his mouth. One day we were at the beach and a truck drove behind a bench where a couple was kissing and he ran over pointed and yelled "Look mom a big f***"

Dave

When my dad was watching TV, sometimes people would start to curse, but then that bleeping noise would blank them out. I asked my father, and he said that the people on TV were saying naughty things. The next day, at school, we had a fire drill. The alarms were really loud and made an almost identical noise the the TV edits. I kept asking my teacher who said naughty things, which she thought was hilarious.

TAsciusKL@fui

this isn't mine, it's something cute my sister told me a few days ago- when she was small she believed that the words in a text marked by the asterisk* were words that the author liked best of all.

katja

When i was younger (around 5), i was with my sister in our room while she read a book to me. I dont remember why, but the book mentioned the word "formal". When i asked my sister what it meant, she hesitated. You see, we had a thing going at that time where we were trying to outsmart each other. Well, not wanting to lose, she said it was a bad word we call the "F-word". a few weeks later when my mom had a party, my dad told my sister "Tell your mom I'm in the bedroom right now and im trying to get dressed very formal" Well, when my sister told me to deliver the message, i hadn't exactly heard what my dad said, so i rushed in where my mom was sitting with her friends. I said, "mommy, mommy, daddy has a message for you" she asked what it was, and nervously i said "i'm sorry mommy, but i didn't hear him too well. All i know is that he said something about the bedroom and the F-Word." You can imagine the look on my mom's face!

formally

When I was younger I would say "cheese and crackers got all muddy" becasue thats what i thought i heard my parents say. In the end they were saying, "jesus christ and god all mighty". woops.

Anon

I used to think that "giving someone the finger" ment to litteraly give someone THE finger. I really thought that there was a golden finger being passed around! So, when someone said " You better stop or I'll give you the finger!" I was overjoyed !

MAU!

when i was about 6 or 7 i heard someone say the word "f**k" and later on asked my mum what it meant. She told me it was another word for poo....which was a bad idea really considering the next day at school i informed my teacher "you've got f***ed on!" in my innocent childish way, after observing that a seagull had pooed on her....

sarah t

When i was in kindergarden, my family moved (military), so i went to 2 schools for kindergarden. Anyway, when i got there, the first thing they did was recess before school started. I met this kid, and he told me that the middle finger meant hello. So when we got to class, i walked in and flicked off everyone. I spent the next 5 weeks in a corner.

Blood Gangsta

When I was little, my older brother told me that "ditch" was a swear-word. I used to call people 'stupid ditches' under my breath (stupid was also a really bad word)

I also believed that 'Fuddruckers' was a curse-word. (Fuddruckers is a restaurant, just in case you didn't know...)

C-Duck

i used to think that while all the kids were at school, the adults would all come out of their houses and scream curse words at the top of their lungs.

mary

When I was little, I used to get "bastard" and "mustard" confused. I thought "mustard" was the insult. As a result, if I wanted to insult someone, I called them a "mustard"... this led to a great deal of confusion. Now, about 12 years later, me and my friends use "mustard" as an insult to people who don't know the story ("You're a mustard!").

Miss Mustard

When I was seven, I was in swimming lessons. I was getting changed back into my street clothes in my 'cubicle' when I saw the f word written on the wall.

I thought F*ck was a funny name for some kind of mushroom.

I repeated it until I was scolded by my parents and my sister and we got out of the building asap. I finally learned that f*ck meant something radically different than a mushroom.

Marshmello Da Strawberry Cow

when i was three i saw a movie where a man was kidnapped, and as the nappers were running away his friend yelled "BASTARDS!" So, i assumed that bastard ment kidnapper and once i was playing dolls with my 12 year old cousin and she took my doll and i said "you are a stupid and mean bastard!"

lil bastard

let's just say my dad was never shy about cursing in front of me when i was little. one time though, he did manage to control himself and he said "oh shoot." little two-year-old me on pulled the bottom of his shirt and said "daddy, don't you mean shit?"

cautionary

My cousin used to babysit alot and watch MTV, refering to some of the girls as whores. I thought this was a reference to Frankenstein or something (HORror movies). I was watching a monster movie with my dad one time and called the monster a whore. He almost died laughing.

Adam

This isn't mine (seriously!) but I knew a guy who, when he was about 12, still thought the word "fuck" just meant the same thing as "shit", as I discovered when he told me a bird had fucked on his coat.

Anon

when i was about 6, my friend and i believed that there would be terrible consequences if you said a swear word. ( you'd be grounded for eternity, or you'd blow up, of the swear elves would come at night and sew your lips together) we decicded to make our own swears and not tell them to anybody so no one would be able to punish us for saying them. As i recall we had one swear for every letter. Once, we were given a time out by the 1st grade teacher, and we were so shocked that she didn't react when we called her the j,k,b,t,y,w,e,and r words.

"I'm disapointed in you two. usually you remember to use indoor voices"

"Juktre kupds, you bhugfes tyuer."
"Yeah, your a ympos werfen rebmez"

tigerlily

my friend used to think "dumbass" was pronounced literally, so she went around calling people a "dum-bass" right up until she was 16. She only figured out then that it was acutally "dum-arse" but a hell-of-a-lot of people thought it was hilarious when she said it!

Sophie