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My 3 year old son and I went shopping and as we were driving around the full car park he exclaimed "Mummy there's no fucking spaces!".
I blame his father...
When I was young I heard the f-word often, along with the gesture that went with it, so to stop me from using it my father told me a secret. He said that there was something worse....you stick up your pinky finger and say "fitzel bitzel". Worked for years till I realized he made it all up.
I thought assassin was a bad word for some reason (maybe because it has ass in it?)
When I started middle school, I heard these guys calling each other "bastards." I thought they were saying "pastors." I wondered why calling someone a "pastor" would be a bad thing.
I thought there were some swear words so bad if you said them you would go to jail!
I thought that swear words were called square words and that they looked like a square when you wrote them down.
I believed that all swear words were modern inventions and that someone sat in an office creating them, just like someone else who created jokes, *all* of them.
I used to believe there was a legal age limit to swearing.
When I was a kid, it seemed kids knew all the swear words. I thought swear words were a secret code that only kids knew about. I was shocked the first time I heard adults use OUR words, and doubly shocked to find out that these words had correct spellings and even appeared in printed books.
i was never very religious and even when i was very young, i doubted the existence of god. but one day, when i was about four, i was at my friend's house and she had given me this very small chair to sit in. i said something like "i dont want to sit in that f--king chair!" she gasped and told me that i had sinned and said god would hate me forever if i ever said a curse word again.
i didn't say another curse word till i was eleven.
My dad is a builder and uses alot of colourful language, but had always admonished my brother and I never to copy any of it. However, I could never understand why he would describe someone who was restless and fidgety (especially if in and out of a seat)as "up and down like a horse's drawers." What he'd actually said was "whore's drawers". (drawers are panties if you're american).
BY age six i was pretty sure i knew all the "bad" words i wasnt suppose to use. So one day while riding in the car a bee flew in the back window and as i was trying to kill it i said "come here you cock sucker!!" I only screamed this once or twice though because it shocked my parents so much the car came to a stop & they just kind of looked at me drop jawed. i got the "what did you jst say?" bit and when i repeated it again was informed it was a bad word...BUT confused (cock was a rooster, sucker was a lolly pop, right?) asked why... and never really got a proper explanation. it wasnt untill years later i figured out what those looks were really all about LOL
My mother adamantly hates the word 'fart' and growing up we had to replace it with 'glink'. I just thought that was the way everyone said it. Imagine the looks I got when I used it in front of the rest of the normal population!! "Holy cow, that was one loud glink!!"
In my first year of teaching, I had one of my second graders come up to me and tell me that Johnny had called him the "E" word. Knowing the "A,B,C,D and F" words in their entirety, I had NO idea what the "E" word was. So I asked Johnny to whisper in my ear what the dreaded "E" word was... so Johnny said. "Idiot". I about died laughing on the spot.
I used to believe that you had a 'swear line' in your body. Each time you swore, you filled up a space on the line. Once you ran out of space, you died! Luckily Biology cleared it up.
my dad used to cuss all the time around me, even though i was only 2. one day, i got a new baby doll. i went up to my mom and told her her name was b**ch.
I thought I had invented the word "asshole". At this point I was too young to have heard it on TV. A few years later I was allowed to watch some films and TV with swearing in and when the word "asshole" was used, I was delighted. I assumed that in the few years since I had invented it, its use had become more widespread to the point that it had entered the English language. Go me!
When I was little my mom told me that flipping somebody off meant "go to Hell" and that I shouldn't do it. My friend and I decided that if we pointed our middle finger downward instead, it would mean "go to Heaven" and that it was a compliment. I think I was about 16 before I learned the truth.
I thought if you said a swear word the police would track you down and arrest you but if you said 'oh my goodness' after the swear word that it would take it back.
In our house we used to have a medical dictionary called the Funk & Wagnell. If me or my brother had something wrong with us Mum or Dad would tell us to "look it up in the Funk & Wagnell" but of course to our ears we heard "look it up you f**ken wagnell". We always wondered what a wagnell was and why our parents were swearing at us.