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When my younger brother was about three years old or so, my grandparents found a rabbit and kept it in their backyard. My grandpa hated that rabbit. He never called it anything besides "son of a bitch." (Which is a bit odd, I think, considering that female dogs are bitches, not female rabbits.) So when, one day, that rabbit ran away, my grandpa proved what an influence he had on my younger brother. My little 3-year-old brother wandered around for the longest time, screaming at the top of his lungs, "Come back, you son of a bitch!" He thought that was the rabbit's name.
When I was about 5, I was in the car with my mum and I told her that I knew the "F" word. Worried, she took a deep breath and said "What is it?!?" I proudly replied "Fat!"
i used to believe when french people sweard they'd say pardon my english
My childhood friend told me that his father had said the phrase "like so" and then admonished my friend to never say those words because it was a swear. Later, I watched an instructional TV show about oil painting and the instructor repeated the swear over and over. it was the dirtiest show I had ever seen! Later in life I realized that the phrase my friend heard was "___hole"
When I was really little, maybe three or so, I got really into musicals. (What little kid doesn't like movies where everybody sings and dances the day away?) Anyways, one of my favorites was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but, being three, my words never really came out very well, so whenever I tried to sing along to the song, it came out "Shitty Shitty Bad Bad". When my mother told me that "Shit" was a bad word, I somehow pieced together that the entire song was about not saying bad words.
At some point, we were at the mall and some random group of teenagers started cussing. Imagine everybody's surprise when I let go of my mother's hand, strode over to the group and began my rendition of "Shitty Shitty Bad Bad".
Once when I was 4, I misunderstood the word for shucking corn and went around the neighborhood yelling for my brothers to come home and f---the corn, much to my mother's embarassment.
i used to think that by saying "shut up" in school the principal would call the cops and then have you arrested. apparently one day there was a gas leak in my neighborhood and i said shut up in school earlier that day so when the cops came to evacuate us i thought he was coming after me.
When I was four years old my big brother and sister taught me the horrible swear word 'flabbergasted' and delighted in my saying it over and over. Then they told me they were going to tell Mom that I had been swearing, but convinced me the best option would be for me to tell on myself. Which I did.
33 years later they still bring that one up.
My mom tried not to swear in front of me, but one day she accidentally broke something in the kitchen. She shook her fist and said said "Shit". She didn't see me, so she hoped I hadn't heard. (I think I was about 3 or 4.)
But I had. She caught me in front of the mirror later, shaking my little fist and yelling "Dit! Dit!" because I couldn't make the "s' sound yet.
To this day, Mom occasionally says "dit".
I used to believe that grown ups never told dirty jokes or cursed. I thought only kids like I was did that. Then I found out in amazement that adults told dirty jokes as well.
I didn't realize that the word my grandmother used when referring to my "girl parts" was truly a dirty word. I thought it was a word she made up, she never cussed, so it must be okay. When in college and discussing funny names for body parts, I spoke up and said "My grandmother always called it a twat!".
When I was preschool age, I somehow convinced myself that "hospital" was a bad word - maybe because of the sick people in it, or because my dad worked in one and I didn't get to see him much. When my teacher asked me what I'd received for Christmas I burst into tears because I thought she'd yell at me for telling her I'd gotten a hospital playset.
When I was six, I heard my grandparents say, "I'm getting sh*tty". I thought that meant they'd pooped their pants and burst into tears.
My friend once told me that the legendary F word was, in fact, funk. I thought this was the grandest joke, because at my home we had an encyclopedia called Funk and Wagnall's Encyclopedia. I would look at these books and laugh, and my mother thought I was quite mad. Only later did I realize that that N should have been a C. But I still snigger every time I see one of those encyclopedias.
I once told my younger sister a lie to stop her from swearing ..and she believed it!
Basically you were only allowed to swear once you had a swearing licence, and you were only allowed to apply for this once you had turned 16.
If you swore before then the swearing police would take you away!
I thought "devil" was a swear for a long time. I also thought that if you swore, worms would grow in your mouth(something my mom said). So that certainly stopped me from swearing! I believed this until I was 9.
When I was around five, me and my brother would have constant competitions on name-calling. The all-famous term was "You doo-doo bird"... Until, that is, my brother mistaken it as "You dildo!" -_-'
When I started teaching second grade, I was dismayed when a student told on another student for swearing. Apparently he had used the "S word" and even the "S-H word" in front of her. I thought, "What is this country coming to, that 7 year olds use these words?" Later I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the "S word" is Stupid, and the "S-H" word is Shut Up. I love that they think these are terrible words!
Up until I was about ten, I thought that the ultimate insult was to scream "Chicken Pot Pie!" out of a window, with the blinds closed (especially bad if it was a fat person).
Why? I don't know.
I used to believe the word fudge was the f-word. I couldn't understand why there were all those Beverly Cleary children's books with the word "fudge" in them! I thought that was terrible!