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There is a song we used to sing at Sunday School that went 'Jesus' friend of little children, be a friend to me, take my hand and ever keep me close to thee....
Now my little ears heard and my little mouth sang,
Jesus scared of little children be afraid of me....
I always thought the lyrics to "Wannabe" by The Spice Girls were
"If you wannabe my lover, you gotta take off my pants." I was like 8 and sung it this way and my mother heard and about had a cow, but that's how my best friend sang it so I believed it to go that way.
When I was growing up in Southern California, there was this used car lot that would play commercials on TV. They always started out with "This is Cal Worthington and his dog Spot." Then the theme song would start. For years I thought the chorus of the song was "pussycow, pussycow, pussycow" instead of "go see Cal, go see Cal, go see Cal". For years I wonder what the heck a pussycow was.
I used to believe that the last line of Row Row Row Your Boat was 'Life is butter dream'.
When I was little, instead of singing 'Shake it like a polaroid picture' when listening to Hey Ya!, I sang 'Shake it like a bowl of raw pizza'. It's my mums ice breaker whenever she meets my friends/ boyfriends.
Imagine her surprise and my absolute amusement when I heard my friend Linna singing, "Play that monkey music, white boy!" and I told her it was 'funky music'. What a hoot!! Can't hear that song today without seeing her snappin' her fingers and struttin' her stuff, singing those lyrics. A great memory for me!
I always thought the hook in Kim Carnes' "Bette Davis Eyes" was "all the boys think she's a spaz" instead of "all the boys think she's a spy." D'oh!
My brother used to love Billy Jean by Michael Jackson, but used to sing along to the chorus "Bit of Cheese, that's what I like"...bless
When my younger daughter was small she loved to sing in the car. One day she demanded we sing "The Rabbit In The Sea" It took us at least 15 minutes to figure out that she meant "My Bonny (bunny) Lies Over The Ocean.
For a long time i thought the song 'take my breath away' was 'take my bread nowhere' only recently did i figure it out...
My father listened to a lot of Queen. Whenever I'd hear the song "Another One Bites the Dust" I wondered why people would bite on tables covered in dust. I tested that out once, and bit the end table at my grandma's house. Now, when ever I hear that song, I can taste lemon Pledge, and feel wood under my teeth. There are still some teeth marks on my grandmothers end table!
Remember "Crazy for You" by Madonna?
I heard "two by two their bodies become one" as "two by two their bodies decompose". As I was not quite 10, I thought this was the nastiest thing I had ever heard!
I used to think the lyrics to Dancing Queen by Abba were "you can dance, you can die, having the time of your life." I used to remember thinking that although dancing was fun I wouldn't want to die from doing it too much
I thought for the longest time that elvis' "Suspicious Minds" began "They called him a tramp! I can't hold back!"
Don't let the sun go down on me'
but I heard them as
Don't let your son go down on me'
Around the time that he (CAME OUT - I guess is the politically correct terminology) admitted how gay he was, I was talking to a crazy friend of mine (Elton came out, not my friend) who knew all the Elton John lyrics from back then, and I mentioned that it was no wonder that he sang about somebody's son going down on him, and how prophetic that was, when my friend laughed hysterically and corrected my mistake. I had been happily singing along for years, thinking all the time how gay Elton John must be, Oh, well.
I thought "having been some days in preparation, a splendid time is guaranteed for all" in Being For The Benefit of Mister Kite was, "some beans, some raisins, preparation, a splendid time is guaranteed for all."
In Danity Kane's song "Damage" there's a part where one of the girls sings:
"My heart is damaged, damaged, damaged"
over & over again.
I heard "I want a sandwich, sandwich sandwich"
I used to think that in the song "Everytime you go away" by Paul Young that he was singing..."Everytime you go away you take a piece of MEAT with you". Just the thought of a man packing a suitcase with a big fat porterhouse steak is enough to crack me up now that I know the actual lyrics!
I, too, sang "every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you."
In "Got my Mind Set On You" by George Harrison, I used to sing it "Oh, God, my mom sat on you", and could never figure out why it was gonna take plenty of money to do it right.
My mom thought that "Never gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley went "Man, I'm gonna give you up, Man I'm gonna let you down, Man I'm gonna run around and desert you." I was 15 when I finally figured out why she always wanted me to change that "hateful" song when it came on the radio.
When I was in Jr. High (in the late 80's) there was this song by Debbie Deb called "Lookout Weekend". I was bustin' a move and dancing in the living room one day then my Mom pulled the plug on the radio 'cause she was so annoyed. Just as she did that I belted out "Look out we can cuss-here I come!! Because we can twirl-made for fun!"
Well, she just about died laughing and said the real lyrics were "Lookout weekend cause, here I come
Because weekends were, made for fun!" She always had a way of bursting my bubble.