music: misheard lyrics

when I was young the Eagles song "Lyin' Eyes" was very popular. After hearing it so many times on the radio I had to ask my mom,"What kind of eyes to lions have"?

When I was younger i always used to shock my folks by singing Adam & The ants song 'Prince Charming' why were they shocked? well my version was 'prince charming, prince charming, see his goolies they're nothing to be scared of' instead of 'ridicule is nothing to be scared of' oops

In Shania Twains "That dont impress me much" the line where she sings

"I cant believe you kiss your car at night"

used to sound like:

"I cant believe you kiss your COCK at night"

I only found this not to be true by watching the video on daytime TV and being baffled at the fact that it hadnt been censored. Nice thought though eh??

In the Snow Patrol song "Run", he sings "Slower slower, We don't have time for that, All I want is to find an easier way, To get out of our little heads".

I thought it was actually "to get out of our yellow hats". I thought they must be wearing really tight hats.

When I was about six, i was convinced that the word to the macarena were 'boys have a penis and girls have vagina, bring them together and you have the macarena, haaaaay - macarena'

i was so convinced in fact, that i told all my friends, and their parents too

I thought the Roxette song went "I'm wanna get dressed - for some sex" instead of "I'm gonna get dressed, for success"

Getting dressed for sex defeats the purpose, but I went on believing it for many a year.

When I was about 6 years old, I believed the start of "Oh Canada" was: "Oh Canada, our home and naked land ... "

I couldn't figure out what not wearing clothes had to do with Canada.

For the longest time when I was a kid, I used to think the lyrics to the Bob Dylan/Eric Clapton song "Knockin' on Heavens Door", was:

Knock, knock, knocking on Evan's door
Knock, knock, knocking on Evan's door
Knock, knock, knocking on Evan's door
Knock, knock, knocking on Evan's door
..... Feel like I'm knockin' on Evan's door...

I could never figure out who this guy "Evan" was, and why he would never answer his door!

In John Mayer's "Your Body Is A Wonderland" the lyrics are "I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase"

I heard them as "I love the steps you take when Collins hogs the pillowcase" and I pictured this kid named Collins from my school.

I used to believe when I was a kid that the lyrics to Elton John's song "Tiny Dancer" was "Hold me closer Tony Danza" because I really liked the sitcom "Who's the Boss?" growing up. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I figured out that was wrong, and to this day I still hear "Tony Danza."

In the song 'Sugar, We're Going Down' by Fallout Boy, the refrain goes:

'We're going down, down,
In an earlier round,
And sugar we're going down swinging,
I'll be your number one with a bullet,
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it"

Until today, I thought it was

"We're going down, down,
And we're swinging around
And sugar we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A Lolicon complex
Cock-eating bullet"

Silly me.

There's a John Mellencamp song that has the line "I fight authority, and authority always wins." I thought they were saying "I fight Dorothy, and Dorothy always wins!"

One day I was in the car with my niece and I was flipping through the stations when the song "How Low Can You Go" came on and my niece goes "OH I LOVE THAT SONG! HEL-LO STINKY TOE!" I laughed so hard as she sung along.

On the show "My Life as a Teenage Robot," there was a song called "The Miki Momo." I was so sure as a kid that it was a direct parody of another song, called "Michi Mombre." I had even heard it in my gym class:

"Mombre, muvva-nuvva, I'm gonna mamba, I'm gonna Michi-michi-michi-michi Mombre, muvva-nuvva...."

What I was ACTUALLY hearing was the song "One Way or Another" by Blondie. For years I thought the song was called "Michi-Mombre" and there was a dance that went along with it, obviously, called the "Michi Mombre Muvva-Nuvva."

I thought the line "round yon virgin" in Silent Night was supposed to be "round young virgin" (I wasn't sure what a virgin was, but I knew it meant Mary). I thought it was a commentary on Mary's post-pregnancy body, kind of like a polite way of saying she was fat.

You know that song "What a wonderful world" by Louis Armstrong (I'm pretty sure)? There's a part where he sings "Dark sacred night." I used to think he said "Dogs say good night." I still sing it wrong.