nature

If you stepped on a Beetle, it would rain.

I used to believe the sun went into a hole when it was dark out and the moon came out of a hole, the holes looked like craters, and they had big dirt plate covers.

When I was three or so, I started calling daffodils, at the time a flower I was particularly fond of, daffodillos. I was told this was rubbish and for some reason decided that they were only daffodillos after the turned brown and wilted. It took my mum years to stop me thinking that.

as a child I was incredibly traumatised by tulips, possibly after watching the day of the triffids. My dad used to deliberately take me past beds of red tulips (they were the worst ones) whenever possible. The git.

For some reason - and I have no idea why - when I was very young (probably about 3-4 years old) I thought that the sticks that fell during a rainstorm that were still wet would bite you if you touched them. If they were dry, everything was fine, but if they were wet, they'd bite you. Further, this applied only to small sticks, not to branches or limbs, but sticks of the specific length of maybe 2-7 inches. Anything larger or smaller was deemed, for some reason, harmless. So I would get my yellow rainslicker on, take a plastic cup, and go around cautiously collecting these biting sticks, ultimately putting them either in the trash where they couldn't hurt anyone or in the garage to dry them out enough that they were once again safe for public use. Then, for some reason, I stopped thinking about it altogether, without any consideration as to whether or not what I'd been thinking had been correct or not.

My mum used to tell me that thunder was god re-arranging the furniture.

my dad used to tell me that when it thundered it meant that god was really angry and was throwing a temper tantrum.

I used to believe that over the crown of each hill the seaside would appear before my eyes.
I still get a tingle in the tummy whenever I come to crown in the hill today, whether I'n near the coast or in the middle of the Pyrenees!

I used to believe…

a friend of mine used to believe that the tide went out during the day and
in at night. He still believed this at 18 until I told him better!!

I was told by my horrible lying cousin that the trees with the long funny dangly pods were spagetti trees, it took me till the age of about 17 to work out that spaggetti did not grow on trees humpf

I used to believe that the "source" of a river, was a bottle of Heinz Tomato Ketchup stood in a cave, in the hills, with the water trickling out from under it.

I used to believe…

That when God emptied a bath it rained.
Also that raining "cats and dogs" actually rained cats and dogs.

I used to believe that when it rained God was peeing on the world.

My ma told me not to pick dandelions, because dogs pee'd on them. So for years I thought that dogs pee'd *only* on dandelions, and if a dog wanted to relieve itself, then it would have to go find a dandelion first..!

My three brothers used to tell me that thunder was caused by football players up in heaven kicking the ball at the goalposts really hard.

I had my younger brothers believing that clouds were made by the power generation plant close to our town... the plant released steam continually.