neighbourhood

I used to believe that the water in the swimming pool of a cruise ship was actually the ocean water. I thought that the only thing "keeping the people in the pool" was wire or mesh.

when i was 9 or 10 me and my mum were driving down a motorway when we saw a gouranga ( be happy) sign on a bridge. i asked how did people get up to the bridges to put the signs there. MUM: little green men put them there
ME:(being really thick) Have u seen any (then i realised she was joking and felt a total fool)

When I was a kid, typical grocery stores in my town had slanted mirrors in places, like behind the produce bins. For a long time, I didn't realize that they were mirrors. I thought they were windows allowing a view into a different part of the store, a part that wasn't level but steeply slanted. It seemed almost a magical part of the store. Shoppers there seemed to effortlessly walk up the steep floor with no danger of sliding down. And they could leave their shopping carts in place without them rolling downhill. I figured that it was only a matter of time until my parents would have occasion to shop in that other strange and wonderful part of the store, and they would take me there with them. Eventually I was very disappointed to learn that no such thing would ever happen.

When I was a kid, we still had Woolworth's five-and-ten cent stores, which have since gone out of business. I thought back then that their name was "Wool Worse". So I thought they were the last place anyone would want to buy anything made of wool, as their wool, I thought, was worse than anyone else's.

In my Nieghborhood there's about 20 kids that live(d) in it and we're all friends but wen we were in Elementary school we'd always go on bike rides together and there's a water tower right across the highway that's behind my house, that's where we usually rode our bikes to. There's a big door thingy on the side of the water tower so we thought that a guy lived there and we called him Walter Water, he couldn't talk and he couldn't come out cuz he would die if he came out of the water in the tower. so the only way he could communicate with us is if we banged on the sides of the tower and he'd answer back. But we did relize that our bangs echoed, and that no one was really banging back at us.

When I was about eight my family went on an excursion to Maryland. On the way we passed a huge black dome, and curious, I asked my mother what it was. She informed me that it was a prison for the very worst criminals. The guard at the top would open the lid, and just throw you in. There was no cells, or bars or rules. All the inmates just fended for themselves. I thought this was just the scariest thing ever, and whenever we drove to Maryland after that I would wonder how they survived in that big black dome. Years went by, until I was well into my teens before it occured to me that it was not the dome of death, but a water tower...

On Main St. in the town where I grew up, there was an unfinished furniture store. I was well into my 20's when I finally realized that "unfinished furniture" meant that there was no paint or stain on the wood, NOT that it was missing legs or tops.... I wish I had known that before I bought that set of dining-room chairs that I had to strip and repaint myself.....

For a while until I now(I'm 15!) I misunderstood when expensive looking jewelery was called"paste"(fake) I thought that it was literally made out of glue. Though I always wondered how they made the gem stones out of glue...

When I was small I was in the back garden with my brother ( about 8 years older). There was an old unused paddling pool out there, half full of water, that I was poking with a stick. Big brother told me not to poke but I did anway and the water came flowing out. "Youve done it now mate, the water went done that crack and now the world's going to end" "oh no" I said "how long will it take?" "3 years, 4 at the very most" " Oh!". Using my rudimentary maths skills I worked out how old I would be when The End came and what I would do with the time left to me. He was my Big Brother and I beleived him.

When I was a young child around age 3 or 4, my mother only fed me very healthy food. There was never any cupcakes, cookies, or fast food. When we would drive past McDonald's, I would ask her what the place with the big yellow "M" was, because it had always caught my eye. She replied "Oh, thats where other people eat"
A year or so later, a girl from my daycare had a birthday party which took place at a McDonald's with a play structure. I was so excited to be there, I loudly announced "This is where other people eat! Neat!" I approached several customers and asked them if it was any different to be one of the "other people"
No one really understood what I was getting at, and I got many strange looks from people in the restaurant.

When I was little my road was frequently covered in tar. To keep me from playing in it, my mother convinced me that tar was perminant. It never came off. Ever. I decided to give myself lots of tatoos.

When I was little, I wouldn't swim in the deep end of the pool because I thought there were sharks at the bottom. I still don't swim in the deep part. I think I've been watching too much Jaws.

I used to believe that there were crocs in the sewers

one day my mum was going out, i asked her where she was going she said crazy, i went with my dad to drop her off. Each time i went past the place she went i would call it crazy and say look theres crazy

when i was like 3 or 4 i learned to swim. although i was good at all the strokes, i never wanted to go under the water becouse even if i was at the other end of the pool, the drain monster thing would come out of the drain and it would drown me. im normal now, except for my irrational fear of the penut butter monster.

My dad used to work for a concrete company. We drove by some new buildings that were near completion, and dad told me his company helped build those buildings. He said their truck came and made the foundation, which was the part, under the building, that held it up. Even now, I still imagine a back-hoe type truck under the ground, holding up the building.