neighbourhood

i used to think everyone had there own Kmart because i would go with my gramma and she would say we are going to her Kmart and i would say where is my Kmart but we were really going to the one in her town

As far back as I can remember I have been afraid to be alone in a large bath tub or pool because I had this terrifing phobia that if I was alone in the bath or pool, then a shark/crocodile/snake would swim up the plug hole or out of the filter and eat me.

when i was little i always wanted my bottle, even until the time when i was 4. To prevent me from never getting away from my bottle my parents took it away and told me it went to the town water tower.

When I was little I didn't understand the concept of the intercoms at Meijers stores very well. I thought that the building had a second story, and that there were people who were paid to lay on their stomachs on the 2nd floor and talk down through the intercoms in the ceiling. I just imagined all these people spread out flat on the second floor, doing nothing but talking through holes in the floor so that we could hear them.

This was a while ago, when I was about nine or ten. At that time, I heard about the store, "Abercrombie and Fitch". But I heard it as "Abercrombian Fitch". I figured that "Abercrombia" was a country (in South America, specifically), and anything from Abercrombia was Abercrombian. And I thought a "Fitch" was a bird (I later figured out I was thinking about a finch). I always wondered why someone would name their store after an Abercrombian Fitch (or Finch). It just didn't make any sense. I was a strange kid.

My brother--who is two years younger than me--used to tell me stories about the Snoopy Store. He said he'd gone on this field trip once and at the mall they'd stopped at there was a store where Snoopy, Charlie Brown, and all of the Peanuts characters and Snoopy's family lived. He said that they had everything Snoopy there, and as I am a Peanuts freak, I totally believed him, and when I was seven, I asked my dad to take us to the mall so we could find the Snoopy Store. I totally bought this lie 'til I was about ten. Thanks for deluding me, bro.

Well, late at night, I used to believe that spikes would come out of the walls and squish you too bits, putting it mildly. However, if you did manage to escape, you'd be sent up to heaven and feast on unlimited KFC and diet coke. So, sneaking out one night, taking my trusty screwdriver, I dug into a metal plate which I believed controlled the whole room, opened it and tugged on the wires like in the cartoons. The wires sparked and the light faded.
Suddenly in front of me I heard a buzzing noise. A vertical thin beam appeared and widened until it was big enough for an adult to got through. I went in and the lights suddenly went off. The 'light box' thing rushed downwards and I felt tricked. Was I going to hell? Some minutes later it stopped. I got out and looked around. All I could see was pitch black. For someone reason I had no fear. I felt my way areound until I came across snother metal plate. After destrying those wires I heard a booming sound. Then a ripping explsion set off above me. To call a long story short, it turned out that I'd forgotten my parents told me we were going to a hotel (I fell asleep)and I'd just wrecked the lift. Someone had stuckgum on the Basement Button in it, but luckily I never had to pay for the damage. I believed my toy badger footed the bill.

When my sister and I were little, our dad told us that the men working at this one store we went to, liked little girls and would steal us and take us away to their country to be their brides. We got so scared that one day when we went to the bathroom there, we would not come out until our dad came in to get us and carry us out of the store.

When I was little I though that to go into the deep end of the pool, your legs grew to the length of the pool. Basically I thought grownups grew stilts so they could walk along the bottom of the pool. Only grownups could grow the stilts, and thats why I couldn't walk around the deep end. You'd think that I would've looked into the pool and figured it out, but I never did.

Up untill i was about 10 yrs old i used to think that cats eyes (those little reflective things in the middle of the road) were minature gas lamps and every night the old man that lived underneath the road would go along and light every single one individually with a giant match!!

When I was little, I believed in "good" and "bad" shops. I hadn't quite grasped the object of getting change when you didn't pay them the exact amount, so I thought that nice shops gave you money back for shopping with them, and nasty shops didn't. I can remember thinking I was really smart with my little theory, until one shocking day...We'd been to sainsburys before and they's always given us change, so I thought they liked me. One day though, WE DIDNT GET ANY CHANGE. My parents started walking off so I stood by the cashtill waiting.They eventually had to drag me away screaming "they dont like me anymore!!"

My little sister used to be obsessed with the "Land Before Time" videos, where all these dinosaurs live in a place called the Great Valley. In one movie some migrating dinosaurs came and then had to leave, and said they had to move on to the next valley. Well, we were in Utah, and all the cities there are in valleys. We were entering the Salt Lake Valley when my sister yelled out "It's the Great Valley!" We thought that was pretty funny. But then when we went to a different valley she sort of gasped and said "It's the Next Valley!"

When I was little I thought that black Friday was when all the poor black people went christmas shopping. This is why they had all great sales on that day. I didnt know that it wasnt true until today.

When my mom came home with a new coat or purse from the store, I'd always like to look into the pockets because they kept those freshner salt packets in there. When I found them, I use to think the packets were drugs that the person making the coat "left" in there. I always wanted to call the cops about each packet I found.....

I used to think that the signs in elevators that read "In case of fire, do not use elevator," were a sort of disclaimer telling people that it was dangerous to use an elevator because there could always be a fire, and that it was wiser to use the stairs. I'd never heard "in case" used to mean "if this happens," so I thought they meant "just in case there's a fire." So I was always scared riding elevators and wondered why we were doing such a risky thing when there was a perfectly safe alternative (the stairs).

Whenever my family took car trips when I was young, I believed that instead of the car moving, the world would move for us instead...
I was a very egocentric child.