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When I was about five, my daddy told me that when I was a baby, we went to the ocean for vacation and a shark was chasing me around the water. He said that he then jumped in the ocean, onto the shark's back, and beat him up. Then the shark starts whimpering and goes down a waterfall. When he told me it wasn't true, I cried about it for a long time.
I went on a camping trip with the Girl Scouts and we are in Germany so there are wild boars. And someone told my that they come at night and eat people. That night i was afraid to go to sleep the 3 days i was there.
When I was a kid, my, my mom and dad went to this bar called the Island. One day my dad told me that he was going to go to the "Island" tonight. I got in my bathing suit. I packed a towel, things to make a sandcastle, and clothes. I thought we were going on a trip to Hawaii!!
I used to believe that in order to play crazy golf, or to go on any of the seaside rides in my home town you had to show proof that you were a tourist. My mum was very mean
my brother used to belive that the wrapped-up the bales of hay (in white plastic)on farms were giant marshmellows!
When we were kids, my sister Sarah and I used to go to this office building on Main Street and ride the elevator up and down. Sarah told me that if I didn't bend my knees in the elevator, when it reached a floor the stopping motion would shatter my kneecaps. To this day I still bend my knees in elevators!
whenever my mom & i would go to the library, she'd always have to pay her overdue fines when we checked out our books, so i thought you had to pay to check out books at the library!
In certain waterparks, they'll be a "lazy river", which is basically a slow-flowing "river" which flows around or through the park. It's about four feet deep and very popular with the elderly, and parents with young children. Well, when I was about four years old, my cousin (five at the time) told me that the grates at the bottom held sharks that fed on toes. Ever since then, i've always lifted my feet above the grates.
Well, late at night, I used to believe that spikes would come out of the walls and squish you too bits, putting it mildly. However, if you did manage to escape, you'd be sent up to heaven and feast on unlimited KFC and diet coke. So, sneaking out one night, taking my trusty screwdriver, I dug into a metal plate which I believed controlled the whole room, opened it and tugged on the wires like in the cartoons. The wires sparked and the light faded.
Suddenly in front of me I heard a buzzing noise. A vertical thin beam appeared and widened until it was big enough for an adult to got through. I went in and the lights suddenly went off. The 'light box' thing rushed downwards and I felt tricked. Was I going to hell? Some minutes later it stopped. I got out and looked around. All I could see was pitch black. For someone reason I had no fear. I felt my way areound until I came across snother metal plate. After destrying those wires I heard a booming sound. Then a ripping explsion set off above me. To call a long story short, it turned out that I'd forgotten my parents told me we were going to a hotel (I fell asleep)and I'd just wrecked the lift. Someone had stuckgum on the Basement Button in it, but luckily I never had to pay for the damage. I believed my toy badger footed the bill.
My little sister used to be obsessed with the "Land Before Time" videos, where all these dinosaurs live in a place called the Great Valley. In one movie some migrating dinosaurs came and then had to leave, and said they had to move on to the next valley. Well, we were in Utah, and all the cities there are in valleys. We were entering the Salt Lake Valley when my sister yelled out "It's the Great Valley!" We thought that was pretty funny. But then when we went to a different valley she sort of gasped and said "It's the Next Valley!"
My older sister promised me a trip to the MUSEUM one day, and for some reason I was convinced she was taking me for a trip to New Zealand.........
I used to think that the To Let sign was Toilet with the I missing. I used to think "my, they're big toilets"!
I used to think that the signs in elevators that read "In case of fire, do not use elevator," were a sort of disclaimer telling people that it was dangerous to use an elevator because there could always be a fire, and that it was wiser to use the stairs. I'd never heard "in case" used to mean "if this happens," so I thought they meant "just in case there's a fire." So I was always scared riding elevators and wondered why we were doing such a risky thing when there was a perfectly safe alternative (the stairs).
When I was a boy there was a saying for hunters that went like this; "Never mix gunpowder and alchol." I thought for the longest time until the proper meaning was explained to me that hunters would take the bullets out of the casings and pour alchol into the gunpowder and replace the bullets to make a more powerful cartridge.
I used to believe that the "Now Hiring" sign in restaurants really said "Now Hurrying" and so everytime we passed such a restaurant I would say "Let's go there because they are hurrying!"
I was with my family on holidays, and I saw my aunt and uncle playing with a love-matic machine. You had 2 stick your finger in the device and it told you how hot you were (sexually speaking!!!). With my 5 yers old little silly mind, I thought that it was some kind of video games and I begged my mother to let me try it. I put my finger in the machine and I made it to the top of the sexiness scale, which was "sex bomb"! I was soooooooooooo happy to win that I started to yell in the street "I'm a sex bomb, I'm a sex bomb!!!"
Imagine my father's surprise when he, back home, got a phone call from his little kid, announcing proudly that he was sex bomb.
For those who aren't familiar, Harvey's is a burger chain where you can pick what toppings you want on your burger and they put the toppings on right in front of you. The first time we went there, the lady asked me what I wanted on my burger, and I thought this was some kind of test. They didn't ask this at McDonald's! So I hid and refused to answer her.
You know how they cover the hay bails with white plastic? Well when i was little I always thought they were giant marshmellows!
I used to believe that mall directories were magic because they always knew where you were.
when i was little, whenever i went bowling, i was always told that the bowling pins were the poo from monkeys, and whenever the pins were reset, the monkeys would sit in the machine and be lowered to the floor, and they would poop out onto the lane, and it made sense because the top of the pin was skinny, and the bottom part was larger, so it kind of looked like a terd, keep in mind was really young