When I was about 10/11 we went on a family trip to London. When there, we went into a museum where it had a miniature display of a room of a country mansion house of the 18th or so Century. I looked through the glass, and thinking myself rather clever, yelled out to my dad "Wow, look at those breasts!". Needless to say every male in the room took a sudden interest in the display as my dad promptly grabbed me away yelling out "Ooooh, you mean BUSTS, Edward, yes BUSTS!" as loudly as he could so everyone could hear.
I've never really lived that down.....
when I was very young, i was convinced that all my grandmother did between the times I saw her was stand at her dorr waving.. as it was the last thing she did when we left, and the first thing she did when we arrived. Sometimes i would not see her for weeks and worry that she must get exausted.
When I was a little girl, my family went out to dinner at Lyon's. My brothers told me that if I ordered the wrong thing, a lion would come out and eat me. I still remember my terrified little voice asking the waiter if "it's okay to have chicken strips."
My brothers were jerks.
Back when I was very young, my parents dragged me out someplace and told me they were taking me bowling. I raised holy hell, and finally they got so fed up with me that they brought me home and punished me for ruining their outing. When I was that young, the only place I had seen bowling was on television, so I assumed that if I was going bowling, I'd be on TV.
I was a very shy (and stupid) kid
When I was little, everyday I would walk with my babysitter and her son to pick up my sister from school. On our way, there was a footprint in the cement. My babysitter used to say, "Someone must have put their foot in the cement while it was still wet." So everyday it rained after that I would stop and jump on the cement to see if I could make a footprint too!
i used to believe that the automatic doors had people inside them tht would operate them so whenever the y opened i would say thank you and kiss the doors cuz i felt sorry for the people that had to work in them forever
A friend of my niece used to think that if a straw in a drink had half a wrapper on it, then you were in a fancy Restaurant.
a woman i work with confessed the other day that on a trip to the zoo she asked her dad if there would be any unicorns there. When told they weren't real she cried her eyes out.
She was 17 at the time
Whenever my friend and her sister were little and would have to walk home alone from school they would drag one leg behind them and try to bite their ear so that any potential kidnappers would think they were retarded and pass them by.
After a spate of getting separated from my parents (lost) on outings, I was only allowed to go to the Royal Show if I wore an envelope with my name and address attached to my shirt with a safety pin (I now realise, so strangers would know who I was). I gripped my mum's hand and made sure that I didn't get lost the whole day, terrified of being found by a stranger and sent home in the mail.
I lived in Michigan, (US), growing up and when I was around 5 or 6 and we used to go by a town named Coldwater, whenever I saw that sign I always wondered where Hotwater was because if there was a Coldwater, there MUST be a Hotwater, right?
I used to get nosebleeds a lot as a kid. When I was around 12, I was looking for concert tickets for my favorite band. Another fan said the only seats left were in the nosebleed section. I thought, "Perfect! They have a section to accomadate people who get nosebleeds!" I thought they would have people with plenty of tissues for us, and everyone in the section would be sitting there bleeding freely, enjoying the show, and talking about ways to stop nosebleeds. Yeah. I learned the sad truth a couple of years later.
I have liked Broadway musicals since I was little and I I had heard of the broadway show "Damn Yankees" but didn't know what it was about. I went to see it with my family when I was about 11 years old. When I saw a baseball on the program, I asked "Is this about baseball?" I had always assumed it was about the civil war. Apperently I was a child who knew more about history than baseball.
When I was a little girl, I was completely mystified by McDonald's restaurants and their amazing ability to have exactly what you ordered ready so quickly.
I used to believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that each and every McDonald's employed a psychic. This psychic would sit in a small, white room and predict what each and every person was going to order before they even arrived at the restaurant. The psychic would then tell the cooks what to prepare so that your food was ready and piping hot when you got there.
We went to the Holy Land when I was about ten and I thought we were going to see "The Dead Sea Squirrels." I was disappointed because I didn't see any.
As a small child, I was told of the guards with the furry hats standing in front of Buckingham Palace. I also learned that people from around the world would wait around to see the 'changing of the guards'. For the longest time, I pictured this as footmen bringing the guards fresh uniforms so they could strip down to their boxers and put on clean clothes.
when I was little, my mum had planned the family holiday and told me I would really like it becuase there were lots of cycle paths in the area, but I misheard her. She seemed concerned when I was not excited about the holiday and was always miserable when there, until, when planning the next years one, I told her that I didnt want to go anywhere that there are lots of pyschopaths again. I had spent the whole holiday keeping an eye on everyone around me in case they tried to kill us.
I thought that 'eating out' was when you were too big to eat inside the resturant so they served your food outside and you ate it there.
i used to think that in restaurants 'giving a tip' to the waiter meant suggesting how the could cook their food better....like 'here's a tip - add more salt to the sauce next time'.
i used to believe that if you were driving forwards you were going north.