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When I was little I used to believe that the handicapped parking spots were where the people were supposed to park their wheelchairs before entering a store.
I was always so amazed by those maps in the mall that say "you are here" I thought they were magic and could detect where I was at any given moment.
One time when I was little my Mom and I were driving by this grocery store called the Food Lion. I asked my Mom, does the Food Lion actually have a lion? Her replie was that there was a lion and it was sleeping in the back to guard the food. I belived that till I was 7.
I used to believe that the Pillsbury doughboy actually lived in the refrigerated shelves in the grocery store. I always secretly looked for him when we went grocery shopping just hoping to be able to push his belly.
When I was little, and my mum was pregnant with my little brother, we went to the supermarket. In the checkout behind us was a man with a very large belly, I turned around and said to him, "Oh my mummy's having a baby like you are too!"
when I was little, I thought that in the stores after closing, the maniquies summoned up life and took a walk by the mall
I used to believe that the people that worked in stores slept right there on the floor and lived there.
When I was little my mom always told me the "K" in K Mart stood for "kids" and that if I was bad she would return me and my sister for new children.
When I was about 5 my aunt caught me pushing all the buttons in the elevator at the mall. So she told me that a gremlin lived underneath the elevators, he made them go up and down by pulling ropes, and pushing all the buttons at once would piss him off. So until I was about 10 I took the escalator.
Up until I was almost 9, my younger sister and I thought that we could fool people into believing that we were mannequins at department stores, just by wearing clean clothes and holding very still. Whenever someone gave us a second and very confused look, we thought we were fooling them.
I had lots of fun whispering to her to stop breathing so we'd be more convincing. Oh, and she tried.
When we got really good at this game, we started trying it everywhere, especially places with long, boring lines. We were Navy brats. There were lots of those. Our favorite was banks. No one there ever seemed to notice that we weren't actually mannequins. Little did we know, they just didn't care.
When I was little, we would take the bus downtown to the big department store. It had one of those old escalators that still had wooden slats to stand on. I used to worry that the escalator would eat me feet first and would refuse to go on it. I made my mom take the elevator.
I used to believe that there was a man inside the ice machine, where they had blocks of ice for sale. "He" would dispense your ice block when you put your money in.
When I was little and my mother would take me with her on trips to the mall, I'd get bored in the department stores because we weren't buying anything for me, and I'd hide in the clothing racks. My mother would get mad, and told me that the department store owners were watching me on the security cameras and would come down and yell at me and kick me out if I kept it up.
One day I was hiding amongst some women's dresses, and they made an announcement over the intercom for a Miss Green to come to the front of the store. I began bawling and ran to my mother, and when she asked what was wrong, I tearfully told her the lady on the speaker called me "Miss Greedy" and she was going to come kick me out!
I used to think that handbags were actually called hambags. I thought women carried ham around with them or something!
I used to believe, until I was 5, (I'm 12 now) that the little design in the bottom of paper shopping bags was a monster, and when I got too close to the bottom, I would get attacked.(Well, anyway, it looked like a design when I held it to a light, and saw the overlapping paper, but I also thought that that was the only way you could see the "monster".)
this is my moms:at road side vegetable stands, people often put a list of what they have, and at the bottom blow horn, to let them know you want service, my mom thought blowhorns were a vegetable!
I thought that mannequins in department stores were real people who were paid to stand there wearing the stores' clothes and stay very, very still. When I was five I told my mom that being a mannequin must be the most horrible job in the world. Cause how can anyone stay still for that long? What if they get tired or get an itch?
I grew up on the East Coast of the U.S., where there was a chain of Thom McAn shoe stores. Whenever my parents took me there to get shoes, I always asked when Thom was going to come out and try shoes on me! I waited and waited, but he never did...
Mad Butcher is a small chain of supermarkets in the South. Thanks to my older brothers, I used to believed they were called that because when little kids got separated from their parents, they chopped the kids up and put them in the hamburger meat.
Elevatiors were run by very strong, yet very short people. I used to throw change and small pieces of candy down the crack for them. They couldn't get paid enough and I figured they were hungry.
I dropped a new book down the crack by accident, and tried to convince my mom that the 'elevator men' would give it back to me if we asked them. She wouldn't listen and continued shopping.
She found me some time later after a department store employee rescued me from getting my head smashed between the elevator doors. I tried all the elevators to make the men hear me.
After that I tried to spit on the men, but I quickly gave up when I reaslized the danger of angering them.