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Elevatiors were run by very strong, yet very short people. I used to throw change and small pieces of candy down the crack for them. They couldn't get paid enough and I figured they were hungry.
I dropped a new book down the crack by accident, and tried to convince my mom that the 'elevator men' would give it back to me if we asked them. She wouldn't listen and continued shopping.
She found me some time later after a department store employee rescued me from getting my head smashed between the elevator doors. I tried all the elevators to make the men hear me.
After that I tried to spit on the men, but I quickly gave up when I reaslized the danger of angering them.
Once I was shopping at the mall with my mother and older sister and my sister had seen a coat that she wanted. She jokingly commented that it must be made out of human skin because it was so expensive. From then on (for a longer time than I care to admit), I believed that they really made some coats out of Human skin and I could never figure out why I had never seen them in any store, but I did not stop looking for them every time we went shopping...
When I was little, I used to think that shopp-keapers were greedy. This was because I did't know that theyhad to buy the things that they sold to make money!
When I was small, I used to love to look through the mail-out advertisements that contained coupons. Every time I would see "Save 25 cents on such-n-such" I truly believed that the product was on sale for only 25 cents and the coupon was telling the customer to save up a quarter. But then I would think, surely it wouldn't be that cheap, cause mom would be buying EVERYTHING!
Years ago, when VCR's and Beta machines were newly available for household use, I remember going to video rental stores and seeing areas that had curtains over the entrance. I was told that there were poronographic movies there, and I thought they were filming them, not renting and selling them! (No, I didn't try to peek through the curtains, you pervert!)
When I was little I used to think that the handicapped spaces were for people who had to go to the bathroom really bad. I thought that the picture of the person on the wheelchair was someone sitting on the toilet.
I live in Denmark where people speak danish. When shopclerks in Denmark have finished calculating the price for your wares on their cash register, they say: "Ellers andet?" which means "anything else?", but when i was a small boy, i thought they said "Ęd lasagne!", which means "Eat lasagne!"
I used to believe that if something wasn't "on sale" at the store, that it wasn't for sale. When we'd go to the grocery store and I'd ask for something, mom would say, "No...it's not on sale." I thought the store wouldn't let you buy it if it wasn't on sale.
Thanks to my parents, I believed that the only way you could open one of those Automatic Sliding Doors (the kinds at Stores) was by smiling really big.
I'm sure the camera people thought I was nuts!
When I was little, going to the grocery store with my parents was an adventure. At the end of the first isle was the dreaded produce section. My dad liked to pick up a coconut and tell me it was a monkey head. The three dots at the end were the eyes and mouth of the monkey. He would wave the "monkey head" at me and make me scream until my mom told him to cut it out. When I grew up and realized it was NOT a monkey head, I turned around and did the same thing to my little sister. LOL
When I was little I had the worst fear of being locked in a store. When the lady came on the intercom saying the store would close in 10 minutes, I started panicking. I thought I would have to spend the night in the store. There was more than one occasion when I would start bawling when my mom wouldn't leave right away. 0.o I practically dragged her out of the store everytime.
I used to believe that if you weren't wearing rubber soled shoes when you rode on an escalator, you would be sucked into it unless you jumped before you reached the last step. ( My Grandmother used to tell me this!)
When I was little I thought that cabbage patch kids came out of cabbages in the grocery store . I would really upset me when my mom wouldn't let me stop to look in the cabbages.
I used to believe that the dark spots on the pavement of grocery store parking lots were left from children that had been run over because they weren't holding their mom's hand.
When we first got married, I told my wife (a native of Thailand) that athey sold garages at garage sales. Since we had a garage, we didn't need to stop. I never thought any more of it until she smacked me after one of her friends asked her if she would like to go shopping at some garage sales. Apparently she believed my story. Now if I can convince her about yard sales.
My parents are a big supporter of The Salvation Army charity and would talk about it a lot when I was little. And I remember my Dad saying he was going to take some old clothes to the Salvation Army store and I BEGGED to go with him and when we got there and I saw all the old clothes and furniture and stuff I started crying and asked my dad "Where are all the guns?" You know, cause it was the Salvation ARMY - I was picturing guns and bombs and soldiers marching. Until my dad explained it to me that day I never understood why my parents were supporting an army.
I used to believe handicapped parking spaces were spaces for people to park thier wheelchairs. My Mom always called them "wheelchair spaces" for some reason, and so I didin't understand that they were for cars. We must not have had many disabled people in our town, becuase it was rare to see the spot being used. I always hoped to see a wheelchair parked in its special place. I believed this for a long time!!!!
I always thought that a strip mall was a mall you had to strip to get into. For some reason my mom couldn't ever get me to go to one......
I used to believe that strip malls were bad because I thought you had to strip off your clothes to go there. I couldn't imagine why anyone would want to shop naked.
The first time I heard of a store being "out of" an item, I was very surprised. I had previously thought of stores as magical places able to create an unfailing supply of whatever things they sold.