neighbourhood: going shopping

My son used to believe that the "no candy" line in the grocery store meant you couldn't be in that line if you wanted to purchase candy. One day I was buying Halloween Candy and he read the sign and he became horrified that I would break this law, and told me to get in another line.

My brother and I believed that we could make a fort behind the rows of toilet paper in the supermarket. Then we would wait until the store closed and eat everything in sight.

When I was little there were 2 ways to walk to town. I was sure that my mom told me that if you went a certain way than you would end up in China. But it was Ok to come back by that road. Years later she had no idea what I was talking about.

I was terrified of shop dummies or mannequins. I was convinced they were moving behind my back and that every time I turned around they'd get closer and eventually kill me. But then I couldn't look them in the eye either. I had to make sure I was facing them, but with my eyes averted.

My parents took us children for a drive and I saw this sign on a building that said, "Flea Market". I kept asking my parents,"why do people want to buy fleas?" I never got a reply, or an explaination! It wasn't until I was an adult that I found out that a "flea market" was used goods sale.

When my brother and I were younger, my mother didn't want us wandering around in the grocery store and getting into things. For that reason, she told us that it was illegal to get out of the shopping cart. "What about the other children that are out of the cart?" we asked. "Their mommies are going to be arrested."

When I was little I always thought that people were bought in stores and there were coathangers through our heads (that's why there's holes in our ears) and there were about five of all the people and ur parents just picked the best one from the store!

When I was little, one time when I was little I needed to get some new school shoes. I tried on a pair that were quite uncomfortable but I decided to choose them because I thought that the person who made them would be sad if no one got them.

My parents used to take me to the mall a lot when I was a kid. The mall used to look a lot bigger on the inside than it did from the outside (at least it did to my 4-year-old eyes). My dad told me this was due to the fact that a man who worked for the mall would punch a button to shrink the building down at the end of the day. I believed him. So whenever I would whine about not wanting to leave the mall, my dad would tell me that we only had 5 minutes before "the man" pushed the button, so we had better get out of the mall quickly before it shrank and trapped us inside.

I used to think that the "black market" was an actual place, where people in black cloaks and hoods wandered around wooden stalls (painted black) and purchased stolen and illegal goods.
I wondered why the police couldn't just go in and shut it down, since they complained about it so much.

I used to think that store mannequins were shoppers that had been kidnapped and put into some giant machine in the back of the store. Needless to say, I did not leave my parents side in a clothing store!

Once I saw some people get in the elevator, then come right out. (Obviously they changed their minds)

This confused me, and I thought this meant that when you went in an elevator, you came out on the same floor you started on, only it looked different to you. (Although to everyone else on that floor, they would reocgnize you when you came back out.)
I couldn't figure out how this worked!

For a few years in early childhood, I thought that all places that played Muzak had a full orchestra above the ceiling. I imagined them all sitting up there playing their instruments, tucked out of sight.

I used to be confused by signs in stores that said "sale" or "on sale". I thought to myself, "if this stuff is 'on sale', does it mean that you can't buy all this other stuff? And if you can't, why do they have the other stuff in here anyway?"

Hate to disagree with Anon, but lbs stood for libs or libbies. I was never too sure which. I knew there were pounds, but you didn't use those in stores. Just when you weighed people.

I used to believe the abbreviation lb. stood for a unit of measurement called an "ilible". So, I'd be at the grocery store with my mom thinking we were getting 2 "ilibles" of something.