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When I was about 5 my aunt caught me pushing all the buttons in the elevator at the mall. So she told me that a gremlin lived underneath the elevators, he made them go up and down by pulling ropes, and pushing all the buttons at once would piss him off. So until I was about 10 I took the escalator.
At the shopping mall when I was younger, I would freak out and plead with my parents to take me home as it approached closing time. My sister who is 4 years older than me would tell me how giant German Shepherd guard dogs would come running out of nowhere and viciously eat anyone left in the stores. I'm sure parents had to deal with their children complaining about wanting to go home, but not nearly as bad as my adolescent anxiety attacks!
I used to belive that the fountains at the mall were somehow connected to the urinals in the men's washroom, so from then until my Dad finally explained to me what the fountain was all about, I was terrified of going close to fountains.
I thought 'Miss Selfridge' was an actual person. When I questioned who it was that was giving my classmates all these lovely clothes, I was laughed to the ground.
When I was little(3-8ish) I used to believe that if you were under 21 you weren't allowed to walk through the aisles where there is alcohol in stores. Nobody told me that, but I just kinda made it up. I everytime I would walk down it with my parents I would always check to make sure that nobody that worked at the store was around because I didn't want to get into any trouble. The first time I walked down the alcohol aisle I thought I was being so risky.. I don't know how I found out that it wasn't illegal.
When my mom took my sister and me to the mall, I would stay clear away from the fountain that was by the food court. My sister had told me that if I got too close and didn't throw money in, the troll that lived in there would get me. I was always scared for those people who sat by the edge of the water and didn't do anything. It seemed like a death wish to me.
When I was young, every time I walked by the clothing store called HOT TOPIC, I was never allowed to set foot in there because my mom told me that whoever steps foot in there worships the devil. So every day when I go to school, whenever my classmates mentioned to me that they bought this or that at HOT TOPIC, I would get scared and I tried my best to go along with the conversation or else they could've killed me anytime they wanted to.
When I was around 6 years old, I lost my knitted winter cap in a department store while I was there with my Mother. Two weeks later, we came back to the store, and the escalator was all taken apart. My mom told me not to ask anyone if they had seen my cap because it had been pulled down into the escalator and gotten caught and we'd have to pay for the escalator repairs. I guess I had more presence of mind at the time because I didn't believe it but I thought SHE did.
When i was younger my mother would often take me on trips with her to the grocery store. Sometimes while shopping i'd see the words "Fat Free" on a package. I'd always earnestly encourage my mom to buy the product because i that "Fat Free" meant that you got fat free of charge.
I use to believe that if you touched one of those dressed mannequins in the department stores you would turn in to one.
When I was little I thought that cabbage patch kids came out of cabbages in the grocery store . I would really upset me when my mom wouldn't let me stop to look in the cabbages.
Until recently, I believed that the food on the shelves was the only food that the stores had. Since I was told many times about the ill effects of smoking, I often wondered, "Why don't we just buy all the cigarettes? Then there won't be any left!"
when i was little i heard about nike putting people to work in sweatshops, so i figured that to make sure they had enough people in the sweatshops they took whoever owned thier shoes.so whenever my mom took me to buy shoes i would reminder her profusly NOT to buy nike.
Up until I was about ten, I used to think that supermarkets could choose whatever name they wanted, like pubs. So, where a pub could be 'The Crown', 'The Anchor', 'The Queen's Head' or whatever, supermarkets could open and pretty much choose what they wanted, like 'Waitrose', 'Sainsbury's', 'Tesco's'. I couldn't work out why they only chose the same three or four names...
If things were out of place in the grocery store (i.e. candy in the pasta isle, etc) I thought it was free. I ended up taking a few things home.
I used to belive that there were tiny people in vending machines that gave you your food.
When I was young I used to think that WHSmith was all one word, and was thus pronounced "Wwwhhhhuuusmith"
For a few years in early childhood, I thought that all places that played Muzak had a full orchestra above the ceiling. I imagined them all sitting up there playing their instruments, tucked out of sight.
When I was little, one time when I was little I needed to get some new school shoes. I tried on a pair that were quite uncomfortable but I decided to choose them because I thought that the person who made them would be sad if no one got them.
I used to sit on the bus and see the big supermarket 'Safeway', I believed it was a place where people could feel safe.