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We used to pass a building that said "Auto Body/Paint." I thought it referred to body paint, and that hippies would go through there like a car wash and get designs spray-painted on themselves. I have no idea how I found out about either hippies or body paint as a grade schooler.
I used to believe that the real (and only) name of Ethan Allen, the upscale furniture store, was The Look-Don't Touch Store, because whenever we went, that's what my parents called it.
When I was little, Whenever we went to the mall, and went into one of the stores, I would stand up on the displays and stay very still, thinking I would blend in with the Mannequins!
I used to believe that every time i went in a store that the grown ups had to buy me something.
Ya know how kids just love to stand up in the shopping cart and the mom always tells the to sit down? Well after my mom telling me that if I didn't sit down, the cops would come to get me, and not 2 seconds later, I heard a siren...I didn't move an inch
I live in Denmark where people speak danish. When shopclerks in Denmark have finished calculating the price for your wares on their cash register, they say: "Ellers andet?" which means "anything else?", but when i was a small boy, i thought they said "Ęd lasagne!", which means "Eat lasagne!"
I thought that mannequins in department stores were real people who were paid to stand there wearing the stores' clothes and stay very, very still. When I was five I told my mom that being a mannequin must be the most horrible job in the world. Cause how can anyone stay still for that long? What if they get tired or get an itch?
I used to think that a car boot sale was where motorists exchanged car boot lids.
When I was little, 3 or so, I used to think the elevator in the department store was somewhere you went while the rearranged everything. I mean you go in the box and come out and everything is different. I never used to get confused if we took the stairs though.
When I was a kid, my dad told me that if I didn't jump off of the escalator at the right moment, it would suck me in and kill me.
I used to believe that if I touched things at the department store, there was a person at the store who would come cut off your ears. My Grandpa is responsible for this belief!
When I was around 5 years old, I was suspicious of certain mannequins in the department store (the more life-like ones), because I believed that they could move if they wanted to, and that they were experts at standing perfectly still. I remember gazing at one to see if I could catch him moving, even just a twitch. After a moment I gave up, and as I walked past him I believed he was moving his eyes to watch me walk by. Thinking I might catch him looking at me, I quickly turned my head, but by that time he had already resumed his blank expression. Damn! He's too quick. I believed the reason that some of the mannequins had such smirks on their faces was because they knew they were fooling me. I also believed that they furtively communicated across the store to each other by winking one eyelid. That was their version of giving each other a "high five".
When i was about 5 yrs old me and my mother went shopping to Marks and Spencer and i was crying and screaming ( as we did when we shopping with our mothers )because i couldnt get my own way, then my mother turned around and told me that there was this child man hiding in this door in the corner of the shop and if he saw a child screaming he would come out and take me away and lock me up in this room until it was time to go home, i never cried shopping with my mother ever again.
Mad Butcher is a small chain of supermarkets in the South. Thanks to my older brothers, I used to believed they were called that because when little kids got separated from their parents, they chopped the kids up and put them in the hamburger meat.
As a small child, I believed that items sold in small sizes,
like, 1/2 dozen eggs, travel size shampoo, quart of milk etc. where only for "short people" and I told my mom I wanted to be a short person when I grew up so I can buy the cute stuff.....
My father used to tell me that the mannequins in the mall were aliens, and if touched would shock me. I, until i was 12, was terrified.
On Main St. in the town where I grew up, there was an unfinished furniture store. I was well into my 20's when I finally realized that "unfinished furniture" meant that there was no paint or stain on the wood, NOT that it was missing legs or tops.... I wish I had known that before I bought that set of dining-room chairs that I had to strip and repaint myself.....
when i was a kid, i used to believe that in the utility shop that i passed by every day, they'd have a sale one day, and the price of a real big car would be $1 and i'd buy it
I used to think when i was really, really young that the liquor store was a candy store, because it's name sounds like licorice.
I used to go grocery shopping with my Dad & ask for the most nutrition-free sugary no-chance-in-hell things, like Count Chocula cereal, etc.
Instead of saying 'no', he'd always say "Just wait, we might get it when it goes on sale."
I didn't really understand the idea of a 'sale' & just thought that the evil grocer-man was displaying these items to torture kids & never letting the 'good' cereals leave the shelves of his store.
I hated the grocery store owner's kids for years because of this misunderstanding.