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my mother used to play jokes on me all the time. This is a good example:
We were living in germany, my pops stationed at an Army base over there. Me and Mom go out to the Post Exchange (for you civilians out there, think the military version of a Wal-Mart)
A bunch of men were doing excercises. They were stretching out their quads by placing their hands against a wall of a small building. To anyone, especially a gullble child, it looks like they are, with all their might, trying to hold up the wall
My mom says, "During World War II, American bombers destroyed most of this area. Ever since, they have had to have people hold up the walls so the building doesnt collapse"
For at least 6 months, every time i saw soldiers doing stretching exercises, i totally believed that they were actually holding up the wall
as a sidenote: my mother did this so often, by the time i turned 10, i didnt believe ANYTHING she said. To this day.
I was terrified of shop dummies or mannequins. I was convinced they were moving behind my back and that every time I turned around they'd get closer and eventually kill me. But then I couldn't look them in the eye either. I had to make sure I was facing them, but with my eyes averted.
when I was a child I couldn't figure out for the life of me why in the world anyone would go to a flea market.Why would you want to buy fleas?Unless of course they were talented as those who worked in flea circuses!I believed this until the age of 12!!
when i was little, my mother would put me in the shopping cart. when we went to pay, she told me i'd have to get off, or she'd have to pay for me.
I used to believe that coconuts would fall off of trees in the Pacific Islands, then float all the way to our shores, where there were workers who go around all the beaches picking up all the coconuts, who then gave them to supermarkets.
My mom would always tell me to "jump" when we got to the bottom of escalators so that i wouldn't trip when i transferred myself from the moving stairs to the solid ground. This led me to think that if you didn't jump at the end of the escalator, you would get SUCKED into the stairs, and become part of the escalator.
how horrifying!! haha.
Once I was shopping at the mall with my mother and older sister and my sister had seen a coat that she wanted. She jokingly commented that it must be made out of human skin because it was so expensive. From then on (for a longer time than I care to admit), I believed that they really made some coats out of Human skin and I could never figure out why I had never seen them in any store, but I did not stop looking for them every time we went shopping...
I used to always wonder why my clothes gets shorter within an year of buying it.Finally I came to a conclusion that if you remove the price tag from the dress,it would start diminishing in size every day.I did't realize it was I who was growing and the size of my dress remained constant.
There was an adult bookstore on the main drag in our town. When I was a child, I was pretty bookish, so it was only natural that I'd want to go see what was in "The Book Ranch". I asked to go in every time we drove by, but mom would always change the subject. It wasn't until high school that I knew why.
When i was really little, i thought that pharmacy was a shop where you could buy animals, like pigs and cows.
I used to ask my mother why she would complain about spending money at the grocery store. At the end the cashier would hand my mother some coins. So, I reasoned, if you were getting more coins back than the bills you gave, then you were MAKING money, not spending it.
i used to think adoption was done by visiting the baby store, and picking out the one you wanted. i can still remember my vague versions of a store lined with babies.
kind of like a pet store i guess.
i had a wild imagination.
When I was a kid, I used to think there was some way to read the barcodes and figure out how much stuff at the store cost
When I was a kid my mother made me hold on to the shopping cart as she pushed it along, so I would not wander off. This was so ingrained that to this very day (I am now 38) I still hold on to the cart when my wife and I are shopping. I am not even aware that I am doing it, and when I catch myself it always makes me laugh.
My dad once told me that the litte greasy spots on the pavement of parking lots were little kids that let go of their parents hand when walking into a store. I believed that until I was about 8.
Before i knew how to read, my sister told me that the grocery store "grand union" was pronounced "grand onion" because she was not actually that good at reading. i figured that they must be well-known for their onions...
When I was 5 years old I used to think that the people at the A and P grocery store gave us money to do our shopping. It used to make me so happy because we didn't have a lot of money and I knew that getting our groceries paid for would mean less stress for my mom. At the time I did not understand the concept of cashing a check, which was what was really happening.
When I was little I had the worst fear of being locked in a store. When the lady came on the intercom saying the store would close in 10 minutes, I started panicking. I thought I would have to spend the night in the store. There was more than one occasion when I would start bawling when my mom wouldn't leave right away. 0.o I practically dragged her out of the store everytime.
When I was about 5 my aunt caught me pushing all the buttons in the elevator at the mall. So she told me that a gremlin lived underneath the elevators, he made them go up and down by pulling ropes, and pushing all the buttons at once would piss him off. So until I was about 10 I took the escalator.
At the shopping mall when I was younger, I would freak out and plead with my parents to take me home as it approached closing time. My sister who is 4 years older than me would tell me how giant German Shepherd guard dogs would come running out of nowhere and viciously eat anyone left in the stores. I'm sure parents had to deal with their children complaining about wanting to go home, but not nearly as bad as my adolescent anxiety attacks!