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I Used To Believe newsletter: April 2011

Hi,

There always seem to be double standards for kids and grown-ups. This month we have naughty children being sent to Mexico while adults breaking traffic laws go to Disney World. It's not fair!

Have fun,

Mat.

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I was born and raised in NY. For the longest time, I used to think that every single person in the world was born in NY and then decided to either stay or move away.
Anon

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When I was little, my sister told me that watermelons were elephant eggs. I waited for two months for a baby elephant to hatch out of the watermelon in the kitchen.
Kyle

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I used to believe that the hills were buried dinosaurs.
mellybug11

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I used to think that the toilets went directly to the lakes and streams. I also loved to fish, so one day when my mom would not take me I decided that I would just use the toilet. An hour latter and a full reel of line later my mom heard the constant flushing and found me "toilet fishing".
Wolfen Bones

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I used to believe that kissing was illegal until you were married, and that movie stars got special government permissions.
Anon

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When I was little I used to believe that a centipede walked like a tank - with a track of legs moving one after the other in a cycle.
Kirsten

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My grandma told me that smelling people's farts would help us grow taller. I'm pretty sure she did it for her own amusement.
Mike

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My big sister insisted that cinnamon (sugar) and pepper were the same thing. I tried some pepper and spit it out. Then she convinced me that it tasted differently on different parts of the tongue. Throughout my childhood I always moved pepper around in my mouth trying to get it to taste like cinnamon.
Brandon

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When I was 4 my 14 year old sister would often babysit me. When I misbehaved one time, she said she was going to call the police and they were going to take me to Mexico. I asked her what Mexico was and she said it was a place where bad kids are locked up in cages. This terrified me at first, but after awhile I decided there couldn't really be a place like that so I stopped worrying about being sent there. Well, when I went to kindergarten there was a map of the world in class. I remember the day the teacher showed us, "Here is the United States and here is Mexico." I shouted "Oh no, Mexico is real?" and I became very upset... I went home and told my sister and parents I would never be bad again because I never want to be sent to Mexico!
Danielle

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When I was a little kid I believed that the weatherman controlled the weather. That's not too unreasonable - you're a little kid watching clouds and fronts move around on the map as the weatherman moves his hands! I was so mad when he made it rain on the weekend that my dad and I were supposed to go camping.
Anon

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When I was little my dad was a really bad driver and loved to speed and run red lights with me in the car. Once he told me that getting a ticket from the police was actually a ticket to Disney world. This prompted me to encourage him to speed, and break other laws of the road until he eventually got a ticket for zig-zagging across the road. The cop told him he was irresponsible for doing this with a child in the car. Then I asked the officer for the ticket so that we could go to Disney. He looked at my dad with disgust.
Kathleen

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I used to believe that if I didn't put the eggs in the fridge fast enough after buying them, they would hatch into chicks.
Alli

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When I was young, I used to think that a "problem" was an actual, physical object. Whenever my parents said something along the lines of "we have a problem", I would searching around the house for the problem so I could throw it away. :)
Kyra

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I believed that my toys were alive, so I would explain to them before birthdays and Christmas that new toys would be coming to my room but I still loved all of them equally.
Amy

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I used to use the basketball pump in the air because I thought I was donating fresh air to the needy.
Emily

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When I was little, my grandpa told me that he got a scar on his arm by an Indian shooting him... and the arrow came out of his butt!
Jacob

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I used to think that when something was "made from scratch", scratch was a magical sort of playdoughy substance that could be morphed into any shape, taste, or color. But I could not ever find where the scratch in my house was kept.
Anon

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I used to think that animals pooed out of their tails. The animal that confused me the most was the horse: how did such a big poo come out of all of those little hairs?
Anon

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When I was a child, for whatever reason, my parents told me that it was the city law to eat meatloaf for dinner every Friday. So I continually believed this until I was 12.
Christian

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When babies were born, I used to believe that the only way to tell if it was a boy or girl was to look at the ears. The girls had holes in their ears, the boys didn't.
Karm

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