I Used To Believe newsletter: April 2013
There's a lot that kid's don't understand about the world of finance. Actually there's a lot that most adults don't understand too! Kid solutions are often close to grown-up ones but for entirely different reasons - for example if you need more money, just print more notes!
I used to believe that money was just a verification of wealth, and you only had to show a shopkeeper that you had the money to pay for something, and they would give it to you. So, the first time I paid for something on my own when I was five or six, I showed the shopkeeper five pounds (I live in the UK), grabbed my item, and turned to leave. He wasn't best pleased, but I was adamant that I had paid! In the end, my Nan gave him the money, and I couldn't understand why she was just giving it away! I thought money was like a passport for buying things, and it seemed silly just to give it away! After all, you wouldn't just give your passport away!
When I was younger, I used to believe that "head ache" or "stomach ache" was "head egg/stomach egg", and I thought it hurt because an egg was growing inside of your head or stomach.
I used to think that everything sold for the exact price it cost to make it. I didn't comprehend that anyone would be aiming to make a profit on anything.
A babysitter once told me that once I was in bed I had to have the covers cover every inch of me, because at 9pm the skin monster would come and eat anything that was exposed. I did this until I was 12. And habitually, still do it.
When i was little, i thought that the way stoplights worked was that when it was green, little aliens that glowed green would walk into the light and stand there, and when it was yellow, little yellow aliens stood in the middle, and the little red aliens stood in the top bulb.
Because of the resemblance to those cookie straw things that you put in ice cream, I thought you were supposed to bite out of a cinnamon stick and eat it. Imagine my surprise when I tried!
In 1st grade, we were asked to say what we would do if we were President (if we could make any law). I said, aloud to the class, that I would make it acceptable for women to go around topless. It is all right for men to do so, and I thought it was sexist for women to not be allowed. No one else thought so.
I used to believe that hiccups were an ingredient in fizzy drinks, so when I got hiccups I thought it was because I had swallowed a hiccup from the drink :)
When I was a child, I believed that if you had any body part other than your head out of the covers, T-Rex would walk by your house and see you and he would then proceed to lift the roof off like the lid to a box and eat you. He'd then calmly put the roof back down and keep going, looking for other kids to eat. Likewise, if you had an arm or leg hanging over the bed, something could reach up and grab you from underneath. Only safely in the middle of the bed with the covers pulled up to your chin were you safe!
I live in Quebec, Canada and when I was 8 years old there was the referendum and all the adults were talking about it. I thought that if Quebec seperated from Canada, they would literally take a jackhammer and detach Quebec from the rest of Canada along the border lines and we would float into the ocean.
I used to believe that Internet banking printed money out of the printer in our home like an ATM.
Pizza deliverymen men are aloud to run red lights such as policemen do.
Several years ago, my dad got a new motorized toothbrush, and it had lots of settings, the names of which showed up on a screen. One of the settings was "massage," but I misread it as "message." So I thought the motor and sound pattern was hiding a hidden message. Also, when I finally discovered that it said "massage," I misinterpreted that. I didn't know that the massage was for your gums, so my dad was really mad at me when he saw me rubbing my back with his toothbrush!
I thought if food said it was fat free it meant you could eat as much as you want without getting fat!
I used to believe my bedroom closet was actually a time machine.
I thought eavesdropping was actually "easedropping" because it was so easy!
When I was a kid, I thought NASA had landed on every planet, not just the moon... and I thought they went there all the time. I believed this on up to my late teen years.
I thought the saying "run amok" was actually "run a muck" and figured a "muck" must be some weird measurement of distance I had never heard of!
I used to believe that a 'soul' was an organ of the human body, such as a kidney or lung.
When I was little, I thought that babies were born with a metal name tag. I'm not sure when I discovered that was not true. It may have been when my mother showed me her list of baby names, and told me how she picked mine.