I Used To Believe newsletter: February 2012
This month we've got several food beliefs, including two about dinosaurs. Seems that it's cool to eat what they ate but not cool to eat them! Either way it's a bit more interesting than boring old celery.
I believed you ran the vacuum to cut the carpet and used the lawn mower to smooth out the grass.
I used to believe ham came from hamsters. What's worse is I was totally fine with eating it!
I used to believe that after a person had surgery the surgeon would run them under a giant sewing machine to stich them together again.
I used to believe that I could take a bath and talk into the water spout and anyone else taking a bath could hear me.
I used to believe that if someone hit you on your back when your eyes were wide open, your eyes would pop out of their sockets.
Scared little sister
I used to believe black holes moved quickly through outer space, and if they got too close to Earth, they would wander around on the surface sucking people up.
I used to believe that my mom could divorce me if I was bad. It used to really upset me.
I use to believe that a strip mall was a place where people could shop naked.
I used to think that "tissues" in the body were like kleenexes and imagined the inside of my body stuffed with different types and colors of kleenex tissues and tissue paper.
When I was little, my grandma got me to eat my vegetables by telling me that they were dinosaur food. Naturally, I proceeed to eat tiny broccoli trees, lettuce leaves, carrot logs, and celery branches. Unfortunaely, I did not know that "dinosaur food" only applied to what was on my plate. I later went out and sampled the leaves off the trees in my yard. They tasted pretty gross, so I went back to only the food that was put on my plate.
I used to believe that my mother didn't sleep and that she was a super hero!
When I was little my sister told me salt was ground up dinosaur bones...I barely ate for a month...
when i was little i went to a museum and saw a whole thing about rocks and gold and stuff, and someone said that over time the rocks get bigger underground. when i went home i took all of my mom's gold jewelry and buried it in a flower pot to make more gold.
I used to believe that if I didn't introduce my new Barbies to the old ones, they wouldnt get along. So every Christmas, I would set all the Barbies out and introduce them to each other.
Broken bones meant that your arm or leg was separated from your body.
I always thought that when you were ready to get married, you would go to a huge warehouse of people and walk around until you found the one you liked.
when we first got a car with electric windows, my sister and i couldn't figure out how the windows went down. my dad told us that they were voice activated. you just had to say "windows down" and windows up". he would say it and then at the same time, press the button. my sister and i tried for ages to get the windows down by voice, and he kept telling us we were saying it wrong.
You know how when you're little your parents tell you that you can be anything you want when you grow up? Well I took that literally and wanted to be an elephant when I grew up.
when i was really little i used to believe that if i put on water wings and went outside when it was raining i would float around.
I used to believe the traffic lights could be changed if you concentrated hard enough. I used to practice on the bus every day and my sister always complained how I made weird faces.