I Used To Believe newsletter: January 2012
Happy new year! This month we have superhuman abilities which are lost on grown-ups: running slowly, lifting someone your own size and drinking milk within minutes of finishing a soda.
Up until a few years ago I thought that the SEAL in Navy SEALS was because they were trained to be very agile in the water just like seals.
For the longest time I thought that a "C section" was a section of the hospital that was reserved for women who were giving birth.
At the end of church service our pastor always said, "Go in peace, serve the lord." To which the congregation would reply in unison, "Thanks be to god." I always thought it was because we were all glad it was over.
thanks to benny 'the jet' rodriguez, i believed that you ran faster while running in slow motion. so fast you looked slow kinda thing. so i would take really large, slow steps simulating slow motion. when people told me to hurry up, i just laughed because i was so fast they thought i was behind them.
I used to believe that in the winter, when the farmers wrapped their bales of hay in white tarp, they were actually setting out giant marshmallows for the hungry giants.
I used to believe that a girl was a girl and a boy was a boy because of the type of underwear they wore. Needless to say, I had an 'accident' in school and the nurse only had boys' underwear. All day I could feel 'things' growing down there!
My 5-year old cousin used to believe the garbagemen were stealing their trash.
I used to be afraid of the dark, and consequently thought all window blinds were monsters. Therefore, their only weakness was turning the horn that hung from the left side of their face, and for that you had to approach with the utmost caution.
i used to believe that if i had a bigger tv, it would allow me to see the sides of the set and what was going on behind the scenes, and also that if i broke the glass of the tv, that i would be able to jump inside and be in whereever the show was playing.. so i would actually chuck stuff at the tv hoping it would break so i could climb inside... i thought this was totally normal.
When I first learned about the periodic table of the elements I thought the elements were numbered in the order they had been discovered!
I used to think that Oprah was an opera singer.
When I was little, I thought that big puffy clouds in the sky were actually mashed potatoes.
I used to believe that speed bumps were dead bodies that had been paved over.
I thought it was impossible for anyone to lift more than their own body weight. Just seemed to make sense.
I used to believe that the days marked on the calendar with a slash dividing two days were half days so that about mid day it would switch to a week ahead then back again for the next day.
A friend of mine believed that your handwriting was based on the pen you used, so she would try to steal her mother's pen because her handwriting was really neat.
My father told me tapioca was frog eggs in pudding. I still can't eat it!
When I was little I asked my grandpa if he rode a dinosaur to school when he was little. He said of course he did!
I used to believe that I could contact god by tying a letter to a helium balloon and letting it go in my backyard.
When I was little my sister told me that if you drank milk and soda together you'd explode. I never drank both on the same day.