I Used To Believe newsletter: January 2014
Happy New Year! This month we have beliefs about ambitions - whether that's to be a table, flower or Tarzan. Whatever your dreams are for 2014, I hope they come true - you've just got to believe!
I used to think that those masks doctors wear during surgery was to prevent them from vomiting all over their patient.
One time when i was 4, i went to my Grandma's pool and put on these orange goggles. Because they covered my nose, i assumed i could breathe underwater. You can guess how that turned out...
When I was small I thought Shepherd's Pie was made out of dead shepherds! I cried in a restaurant when I was forced to finish my meal!
When I was about 11-12, my aunt said that she wanted me to pull the plug if she was a vegetable in a hospital someday. She didn't want to live that way. I was horrified, because I believed that family members literally had to unplug the hospital beds from the walls themselves and I didn't think I could do it.
In third grade, we learned about atoms for the first time, and I became convinced that I could see individual atoms. My best friend believed me, but my teacher just laughed. I still believed it for a while afterwards, though.
My dad use to tell me that if I swallowed gum it would plug up my bum hole and eventually I would explode.
I really wasn't looking forward to my first ever school field trip because I though we would literally just visit a field.
My dad was a Vietnam vet and when I was little he would tell me about different things he saw/did while there. It was never anything war-related, it would be more like "I saw a lot of monkeys like that in Vietnam" or "It used to rain a lot in Vietnam." I thought that being in Vietnam, then, was something men went and did before they were qualified to become fathers. Of course, I learned otherwise.
I used to think that, when you died, you would go on top of the clouds and have a giant slumber party with all the other dead people (using clouds as pillows, etc.). So, the first time I went in an airplane, I was surprised to not see anyone on the tops of the clouds. Then, I thought, "Oh, they must have heard the plane coming, and decided to play hide-and-seek!"
I was absent from school the day our 3rd grade teacher had explained the holocaust, so for the next couple years I thought it was the same thing as "overcast" since both words sound kind of similar. I thought the holocaust was just a period during WWII when it was really cloudy for a long time.
When I was a little girl and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I told them I wanted to be a purple flower. My older brother finally told me that people can't turn into flowers so I decided I'd be Tarzan instead.
When I was younger, I thought the teachers actually LIVED at school. I would get totally freaked out when we would see them at the store or outside of school.
I used to believe that I could have been born as anything. I was glad I wasn't born as a table for example, because that would be boring. Sometimes I wished I had been born a computer, because it would be fun to play video games all day. but then I realised, a computer can't move from its spot either, and can only do whatever the person using it says. then I felt sorry for my computer, so I would go play more games on it so it wouldn't get lonely.
When I was little, I used to have a weird habit of opening and closing the fridge all the time when I was bored, and my mom got mad at me for doing this. She told me that if you open the fridge way too many times, then the butter would get mad and turn into a monster and eat me.
My sister tried to explain time zones to me. She told me, "When's it's 9 o' clock here, it's 6 o' clock across the country." Then when I saw ads for movies that were playing on TV that said they started at 9, I got really jealous of the people across the country because I thought that they didn't have to wait as long for the movie to come on.
You know that thing you use to carry load of stuff around the garden and outside? It has one wheel. Yeah, a wheelbarrow. Well until I was about 14 I thought it was called a wheelbarrel because you would put a barrel in the metal part and wheel it away!
I used to think my birthday was a national holiday and the whole world celebrated it.
When I was a child, I always wanted to grow up to be a policeman because I thought that policemen couldn't get arrested!
When I was about 5 I asked my parents why vegetables were good for you, and they said 'they make you grow big and strong.' I got confused and thought they meant you got older, and I really wanted to be older than my sister! (shes 2 years older than me) After about a year of practising this, our birthdays came! (my birthday is Jan 8, my sister's is Jan 10) And my birthday came first! I was so happy and convinced I was now bigger and older than her - and very annoyed when everybody said I wasn't!
My older sister once told me that the bath-bomb she had in her room was a real bomb. I became convinced she was secretly from the army.