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I Used To Believe newsletter: July 2007

Hi,

The prospect of getting old is more alarming than usual this month. You can look forward to rodents nesting in your hair, a set of false buck teeth and finally, exploding - and you won't necessarily qualify for cheap bus tickets.

For more great beliefs visit www.iusedtobelieve.com or get the book of the site, Butter Comes From Butterflies, available from Amazon and all good booksellers!

Have fun,

Mat.

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I used to believe that firearms meant fire extinguishers - things you use to arm yourself against fires. I couldn't understand why fire extinguishers were illegal in some places.
Vicki J.

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I used to believe that a "senior discount" was for people who named their sons after themselves.
Spencer Tew

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My mother would sometimes leave me in the car while she went into the grocery store or the library. I would sit in the front seat and pretend to be dead, so that no one would kidnap me, or steal the car. It wasn't until I was about 10 that I realized that no one was going to believe my mother was driving around with a corpse in the car.
Charlie

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When I was young, I used to occasionally get paranoid that gravity would suddenly start working in reverse. When I thought about this I would always try and make sure that there was a roof over me, just in case.
Tufty the Squirrel

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I used to believe that humming birds didn't have feet. I felt really sorry for them, because I thought they were doomed to spend their entire lives hovering.
Anon

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My brother used to tell me that when you got very old you didn't die, you just blow up like a bomb! That is why old people moved so slowly, so they wouldn't explode. Every time I went to grandma's house I'd get as faraway from her as I could...
funonthrun

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My dad sold pure-bred dogs. When a buyer came to get a hunting dog, he saw my mixed-breed pet, and really liked her and wanted to buy her, too. My dad told me, "Mary, this guy says he'll give you fifty dollars for your dog.' I said, "Well, okay, but I don't know what a dog would do with money."
Anon

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I used to believe that you needed a prescription to drink Dr. Pepper.
Anon

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I used to believe that "smoking pot" involved melting something in a large pot until it smoked. The "this is your brain on drugs" commercial with the egg frying did not help clear up this confusion.
shelley

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My parents made me believe that if I ate lamb I would get the wool stuck between my teeth. Pretty scary when you still believe this and that is your first meal at your in-laws.
Laurie

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My brother, now 27, asked my mom why Madonna was singing about "living in a cereal bowl." The song was actually "Material Girl".
Karla Wright

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I used to think if you caught a cold during summer, it was called a "hot".
Brandon Campbell

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My sister Rosie used to think that 'letters after your name' meant that the Queen sent you letters. And you had to run away from them.
Katrina

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I didn't know adults had teeth. I thought adults teeth fell out, just like baby teeth, and then they had to get dentures. Both of my parents had dentures. I just thought some adults had really ugly dentures.
Anon

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I used to believe that tangled hair really had rats in it.
Kristy

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I grew up in a rural area and we didn't have any ice cream trucks. I thought they were just something that was made up for TV and movies.
K.

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I used to think my forehead was actually called a three-head.
Fen

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I used to believe that British people were jealous of Americans because only Americans can pronounce the letter "r" correctly.
Ray D. Strawhat

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I used to believe that if you drank too much you would get drunk. I didn't know it had to be alcohol, so I got very worried after my sister drank a lot chocolate milk.
Sophie

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My parents said that I couldn't say "bomb" or "gun" in airports, and I was a good child so I didn't. However, the reason I didn't say them was because I thought that if I said those words, the security cameras would fire lasers at me.
Clueless Traveler

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