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I Used To Believe newsletter: July 2008

Hi,

If you're on the streets this month you might bump into gangs of bikers, surfers and unhygienic street punks, but don't strike up a friendly conversation or you might get arrested!

For more great beliefs visit www.iusedtobelieve.com or get the book of the site, Butter Comes From Butterflies, available from Amazon and all good booksellers!

Have fun,

Mat.

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I was never afraid of the Boogie Man. Being a child of the 70s, I was familiar with disco and I just figured he was someone who came into your room late at night dressed in sequins who wanted to dance with you.
diane

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I used to think the commercials for "male enhancements" were for "mail enhancements". I thought that they would send you more mail so it seemed like you were popular and more people would like you. Boy was I far off....
what a difference a few letters make

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I used to believe that George Washington died and turned into a bridge.
lara dean

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I used to believe cows were ugly horses.
Marlene

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When I was about 6, I hated eating the crust on my PB& J sandwich, so my older brother told me that every time I left a crust the terrorists killed a kitten.
Peter D.

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I believed there was a town called "Random". If someone said, for instance, that "the numbers were selected at random" I thought that they must have been to Random to pick the numbers.
A Grunewald

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My mother, who was never the greatest of chefs, told me (and all my siblings) when I was small that if I didn't eat all my supper, "the children who eat poo" would come and get me. The children who eat poo were a bunch of naughty children who also wouldn't eat their supper and lived on the streets with nothing to eat but poo! They were like a gang of poo-eating street punks. Needless to say, washing the dishes in our house was never a big chore... we practically licked them clean.
ShannonOfDoom

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I thought that the word "ejaculate" meant to laugh hard/think something was really funny. So when I was about 9, someone told a joke and I cracked up and yelled "I'm ejaculating!" quite loudly. I got a few very odd looks. I'm still embarrassed to think about it.
Anon

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Until I was thirteen I used to believe that "homicide" was two homosexuals killing each other.
Anon

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When I was probably four, I woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible cough that sounded like a donkey. I genuinely believed that for being a "bad boy" I was being transformed into a donkey like in Pinocchio.
Jacob

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My mother told us that "mouseketeer" and "kimosabe" were bad words. This was after we'd driven her nuts recreating scenes from "The Lone Ranger" and "Mickey Mouse Club." We believed her. I can only imagine how ridiculous we looked calling someone a "mouseketeer" in total anger.
MS

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I grew up eating every scab, blister, fingernail etc. that came off my body because my sisters had previously convinced me that unless ingested, the particular part would never grow back.
Susie

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Another One Bites The Dust by Queen: "Another one rides the bus, Another one ride the bus, And another one's gone, And another one's gone, And another one rides the bus"
MaryKate

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When I was in kindergarten, a boy in my class told me that the rubber button-looking thing on the wall in the bathroom was an earthquake button. He said that if you push it in an earthquake, it would keep the walls from falling down. It never occurred to me to question that, until many years later when someone said about the rubber doorstop. Before I could stop the words from coming out, I said, "Oh, that's what that is? I thought it was an earthquake button." Needless to say, I earned myself quite a lot of teasing for that one!
Amy

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My dad used to ride a motorcycle and surf. I had this weird belief that surfers and motorcyclists were rival gangs in an epic street battle against each other, and when he would surf or ride his bike I always worried that someone would shoot him for being a traitor.
ShannonOfDoom

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When travelling along country roads at night, I thought the lights of distant towns were lights for farmers so that they could plough their fields in the dark.
Booanne

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When I was young, my mother would always say things were "as slow as a wet week". I realise now that this is a figure of speech referring to the way that things can seem really slow or boring during rainy weather. I used to believe that there were soggy, spongy creatures called "wet weaks", and figured they slopped around incredibly slowly.
Claire

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I used to think that the word "soliciting" meant the same as "socializing" and I remember being really confused at a restaurant that had a sign saying "No Soliciting". I was worried that my family was all going to get in trouble for talking.
T.

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When I was about 5, I honestly believed pheasants were robots with wobbly arms made out of metal bins that sat in fields making strange bird noises.
Tanith

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Some sport cars have a double exhaust. I wondered why. Why would people want to pollute twice as much?
**** the environment?

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