I Used To Believe newsletter: July 2011
We've updated our newsletter format - hope you like it! This week we have beliefs about how bodies can be used in unexpected ways, like fruit production or as a condiment holder.
I always heard that people went to the hospital when they were sick or hurt, so I believed that hospitals were only for people who had a disease called "sick or hurt."
When I was younger, my mum told me that because it was a leap year, I would miss my birthday and would have to stay the same age for another year. Even though my birthday is in September and nothing to do with leap years, I believed her and cried for ages.
When I was younger, my Dad told me if I go outside and fart in a jar then close it, I could capture it and it would glow in the dark... I tried it.
My parents used to joke that the dirt in my ears could grow fruit and I believed them. They would pretend to pull grapes and strawberries out of my ears. I would often ask them to check. When I told them that the kids in kindergarten didn't believe me they started pulling bigger and bigger fruit out of my ear to try to drop a hint. After the oranges and grapefruits didn't work, they just told me the truth. I was sooo mad and disappointed I shut myself in my room for the day.
When I was 3, my Dad told me belly buttons were for filling with salt to dunk your celery in when you were eating it in bed.
my mom always told me that cucumbers had gas in them and thats what made you burp so to get the gas out she cut the ends off and rubbed the end on the rest of the cucumber. i believed this worked until i was married...
When me and my sister were little we used to believe you could go "catch" a star. We were gonna go get it with a space shuttle, but we'd have to share it because the stars would try to float back home and we didn't think space shuttles would be able to "hold down" more than one.
When I was young, my mom was an accountant. Every quarter she'd stay at work until very late to "look for money that went missing in the books" I had always pictured my mom running around a library shaking out the pages in actual books, so the missing money would fall out.
Whenever my grandmother would come to visit she would always leave a bit before 9:00 saying "Grandma turns into a pumpkin at 9:00." I always thought she would literally turn into a pumpkin, and I would try to find ways to make her accidentally stay past 9:00 so I could see it.
Up until I was about 9 years old, I thought that trees grew up from blades of grass that were never mowed for years and years. I thought that forests were made if no one mowed the grass in a certain area for a long time, and that was why there were no forests in cities, just an occasional tree here and there that someone either missed or left for show.
When I was little, my grandfather told us kids that he was so old, he served coffee and donuts to the Pilgrims when they landed here. He was pretty old, so we believed him!
When I was four years old my aunt and uncle stayed at our house while my parents went on a camping trip. One afternoon they were driving my cousin and I who were acting up in the back seat. My uncle turned his head around and told me if I didnít behave myself he was going to take me to the police station and give me the electric chair. I sat there thinking I couldnít understand why my aunt thought that was so funny. Nevertheless, for most of my early childhood I believed every police station had an electric chair
When I was little I believed that stoplights were activated when they saw their specified color. So, being a redhead, I'd duck every time I saw a stoplight.
I was taught in school that plants produced oxygen and took in our carbon dioxide. So I would go around grabbing leaves and would breathe into them deeply and then breathe out really hard, thinking I was getting more air that way, and helping plants grow in the process.
I used to believe that it was safe to be in the basement during tornadoes because tornadoes didn't have legs to walk down the stairs.
When I was younger, my Uncle was, and is still, extremely fat. When we would ask him why his stomach stuck out so much, he would say there was an alien living inside of it.
When I was little I used to think that sugar cones were poisonous, and my dad could eat them because he had super powers and was immune to poison.
When I was little my parents told me that the oil rigs off of the coast were pirate ships, and that they would come and take me away if I was bad. It frightened me so much, it even brought me to tears once.
When I was little, I believed my dad could stop the rain at any second while driving down the freeway. What I didn't notice was that he would shout "stop!" every time we would drive under an overpass. I finally figured it out around 7 or 8. :)
I used to believe Abba sang 'Kimmy, kimmy, kimmy, a man after midnight.' And that the song was some kind of spell that would make me a boy over night.