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I Used To Believe newsletter: July 2012


War can be confusing - we've got a whole section devoted to beliefs about it. The civil war sounds like people battling ever so politely and wasn't the cold war an enormous snowball fight? Bringing us more up-to-date we've got beliefs this month about lethal tourists and the city for mean dads.

Have fun,


PS Have you found I Used To Believe on Facebook yet?

When I used to hear things on the news like "Terrorists are a serious threat to the peace and security of the world" I wondered what was so bad about people who travelled to other places on vacation (tourists).

When traveling in the car at night I used to believe that the red dot in the sky was Rudolph (the red-nosed reindeer). It was just the reflection of my mom's cigarette on the glass.

I used to believe that thunder was the clouds crashing together. I imagined the clouds were like bumper cars, and that ghosts were driving them.

I used to think rain was invisible, like wind. When I realised I could actually see it if I tried hard enough, I thought I had superpowers.

I used to admire the grown-ups very much. They apparently did not rest or sleep at all - working all day, spending all night having sex (as in the movies), always getting up earlier than me to prepare my breakfast... Wow! No wonder they kept telling me: Sleep while you may, when you're grown-up, you won't have the chance any more! So I slept diligently to catch up as much as I could and I feared growing up as it seemed to be so demanding. Well, now, with two small kids, I know they were right! :-)

I used to believe that it was illegal to leave a store without buying anything. Maybe I asked my mom if we could go to a certain store once and she said no because there wasn't anything we needed from there.

Before I knew about voting I thought a president was picked as so: the old president would have everyone in the country go to this HUGE building where he would stand on a stage at ask "ok, who wants to be president?" and anyone who wanted to be would raise their hands and the old president would pick one at random and they would be the new president!
Tunat'Muram Cuu Vauax

I thought there was a such thing as a writing stutter and people who had it would write things like "They went to the bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb-boat"

I was 5 years old when my little brother was born, and my parents named him Alasdair, which my dad told me was short for 'Elastoplast'... I believed him for years!

I used to believe that people changed completely as they got older. First, I would begin to hate cartoons, comics, toys, video games etc. because I didn't know of any adults who liked them. The process would take about a week, during which my childish interests would be replaced by boys, make-up, clothing, shopping, etc. I would also develop a heavy valley-girl accent and, because of puberty, I would act very air-headed until my hormones had settled. (Thanks, cartoons.) Later on I would become very dull and work-oriented, but I would be organized, neat, and well-mannered. Still, I was not looking forward to finding pleasure in political talk shows and gardening. (Though, for some reason, I really wanted to learn how to sew.) About when I was 14 I realized this was absolutely not the case. Unfortunately, that also meant that people had to LEARN how to become orderly and mature.
A disorganized cartoonist

I used to believe that little creatures lived inside desks and tables and were always busy hammering and sawing and constructing amazing cities inside the furniture. I would listen to them whenever I got the chance. It was a long time before I figured out the noises were simply vibrations from pencils writing on paper, people walking past and etc.

When I first heard of the movie "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" I thought that the Third Kind was the name of the alien race on it. I figured humans were the First Kind but wasn't sure who the Second Kind would be...

I thought seeing red meant you if you were really mad your vision literally got a red tint to it. I figured I had just never got mad enough for it to happen

When I was a kid, my friends and I all had kid-sounding first names, like "Billy", "Chris", or "Steve". Grown-ups had names like "Frederick", "Sherman", or "Franklin". So I thought that once you become a grown-up, you have to change your name. This really upset me, because I liked my name so much.

I thought identity theft is when someone kills someone else and literally steals their identity (like they shapechange into them somehow)
Lord Nagafen

I used to belief that all the cars were controlled by conveyor belts. And that's how they all would stop and go at the same time.

I used to believe Paul Mcartney was my father. I used to fall asleep at night just knowing that any day now he was going to show up at our house and claim me! God knows why I thought this, as I already had a father. Also, I lived in Ohio and my mom didn't even like the Beatles.

When i was little and i went out somewhere and came back to my house i always rang the doorbell because i thought my dolls came to life and i wanted them to get back in the spots i left them in

When I was younger, I would hear about the war and people being killed in different cities. I always remembered the city Baghdad, though, because I thought that people were saying "Bad Dad". I thought Bad Dad was a place in California (a very far away place at the time) where all of the mean Dads were sent. I always hoped that my dad wouldn't be sent there, even though he was nice.

When I was a kid, I used to think that medicine tablets were sweets for grown-ups.

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