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I Used To Believe newsletter: June 2006

Hi,

If you've ever felt technologically challenged you'll sympathise with this month's beliefs: what on earth is a telephone keypad for and how does the printer turn paper round? There's also a spoiler warning - it's may be one of the most famous film endings of all time but there's always someone who's missed it (or missed the point).

Have fun,

Mat.

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I used to think there were monsters living inside the walls. This belief was validated when I stuck a key in an electrical outlet.
Justin

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I thought that if you wanted to print something out in landscape you had to buy a special sideways-printing printer.
Randy

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I thought that you say "In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen" before and after you pray because it's a toggle switch for prayer.
Anonymous

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I never saw anyone use the numbers on a telephone. I thought they were some sort of advanced feature that nobody ever used.
Anonymous

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I never understood why people cried during Bambi. It never registered that Bambi's mother had died - I thought she had been hit with tranquilizer and taken to a wildlife preserve.
Sacagawea

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I used to believe that I invented the X Y coordinate system.
Anonymous

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I used to believe that if you went out in the sun for too long your brain would melt and come out of your nose as snot.
girish

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I used to believe that if I put my foot in my mouth I would get foot-and-mouth disease.
Emily Sathrota

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I used to believe that a Mormon was actually a moleman - a scary person who lived underground.
Mike

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I thought when everyone sang Hosanna they were saying lasagne. I asked if Jesus ever minded being named after a food.
confuzzled

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I used to believe that tights were things that girls wore to hide the scales on their legs.
Quako

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I used to think the 'turn left with care' sign said 'turn left with car'. This seemed so obvious that having a sign about it seemed silly.
The Contemporary Taoist

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I used to believe that at the first window some fast food restaurants use for payment, they were actually handing you the money to pay for the food. I remember thinking "That can't be too good for business".
Swoosh

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I always believed the tide went out in the morning so that there'd be room for people to lie on the beach during the day.
Katie Watie

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I thought that I was the only person who could see and everyone else just faked it.
Anonymous

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Until very recently I believed that "bread and water" was actually bread mixed with water into an icky mush.
da icee man

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When I was little I used to think braces were jewellery for your teeth.
emily

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I used to believe that buried bodies were seeds that caused tombstones to grow.
Anonymous

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I thought strip malls were full of strip clubs.
Neo

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I used to believe that the cure for any illness was an injection. I never realised that it had to be filled with anything.
J@M & $uG@r

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