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I Used To Believe newsletter: June 2010

Hi,

There's pet confusion in this month's beliefs, as we learn that puppies aren't used to symbolise the battlefields of World War I and that cats aren't glam.

Have fun,

Mat.

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When I was little, my mom would always correct my grammar and I would argue with her about it. She would always respond with "I know what I'm talking about, I was an English major." Of course, she meant that she had majored in English in college, but at the time I thought that she was claiming to have been a Major in the English army.
Anon

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My mother told me that every time I spent a dollar of my allowance, a butterfly would die. Needless to say, I had about 500 dollars racked up by my 8th birthday.
Anon

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When I was eight, my sister tried convincing me there were lions in the streets and the field behind my house. Now I know that she was just trying to get me away from her and her friends when they were outside, but I believed her. I didn't leave the yard alone until I was eleven, and even then I took a baseball bat.
Elizabeth

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When I was little, I used to think that when a lady said she had runs in her pantyhose, it meant she had diarrhoea and had an accident while wearing pantyhose.
wyrdfishes

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When I was about 8 years old, my mom sent me to the hardware store to buy some cheesecloth. That day she made cheesecake. And for the longest time I would not eat cheesecake because I believed there was cheesecloth in it.
dennis

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When I was really young, I used to believe that the Speed Limit was actually called the Speed Lemon and I just thought that there was a lemon in the road that you couldn't drive across.
Kyle Shores

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I used to believe if I ate fish it would turn my stomach into a fishtank and make me turn into glass.
Anon

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My Grandad told me he invented carrots.
Nicole

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When I was little my dad told me that there were ceiling trolls in the basement and to scare them off I had to stick a piece of cheese to my forehead when I went down to get the laundry...
Anon

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My mom told me when I was very young that you had to have a driver's license to push the cart at the grocery store (she thought it was annoying when people let their kids do it). I believed her until I was probably 11 or 12. Whenever we saw a kid pushing the cart I would want to find a store employee to inform them that a customer was breaking the rules.
Anon

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I didn't know that there was only one type of dandelion flower until about a year ago (I just turned 30). I always thought that there were yellow ones, and then there were those white, fluffy, puff-ball ones. I was in complete disbelief when my husband told me they were the same flower just different stages of growth. I still have a hard time believing this. I mean, I've never seen a half-yellow/half-fluffy one....
Anna

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When I was 5, I came home from school begging my mum for 20p so I could buy a puppy. Boy was I disappointed the next day when they were only selling poppies for Remembrance Day.
Naomi

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I used to believe that that people were saying "kitty glitter" instead of "kitty litter". So I bugged my dad for months until he finally agreed to get one, as long as I was the one who dealt with the (g)litterbox. I wholeheartedly agreed and we finally got the cat. Needless to say I was pretty disappointed when i found out that cats did not actually come with a box of glitter to play with...
Isabella Rose

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My dad used to tell my brother and I that the reason Santa's elves shoes were pointy was to poke out the eyes of any boys or girls who caught him delivering presents. Needless to say we were in bed asleep through the night on Christmas eve in order to keep our eye balls intact.
Jessica F.

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I used to believe that salt and pepper canceled each other out. They were opposite colors so it must work that way right?
Anon

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When I was young, my parents believed that if you turned the vacuum cleaner on when it was next to the TV, it "would suck the color out of the TV". I really think they believed this. Of course, being a kid, I never turned the vacuum on near the TV.
Strohm

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Up until the other day my friend thought that SPF 30+ sunscreen meant that the temperature had to be above 30 degrees for you wear it. I was the one to inform her that this was not the case.
Torrie

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When I was in science class, they said the earth rotates on an imaginary line called the axis. I didn't know what imaginary is, so I thought at the north and south pole, there really was a big pole coming out of the ground. I wanted to go see it!
Axis

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I used to believe that the clouds passing by was evidence that the world was spinning and that windy days meant the planet was spinning extra fast.
Rosie

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When I was five or six my dad told me that if I ate the hole in the donut I would get a hole in my belly and the donut would come out. I loved donuts and would eat as close to the hole as I could with out breaking it. I did this for about five years even after many people including my dad told me it was not true. I remember being very scared the first I ate the entire donut.
G. L.

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