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I Used To Believe newsletter: June 2011

Hi,

Kid's are often unsure what their parents do for a living... it could be anything from hoisting clouds into the sky to bending bananas.

Have fun,

Mat.

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We learned in about 1st grade that clouds were made of water vapor. We also learned that water vaporizes at 212 F. I put 2 and 2 together and believed that clouds were scorching hot. One day while riding in the car through dense fog, I asked my mom what fog was made of. She said it was basically a cloud on the ground. I wondered how we'd get out of the car without being burned.
Jamie

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When I was little, I believed that it was someone's job to hoist the sun up into the sky, and someone else's job to climb a really big ladder to hang up the clouds. Since sometimes there were no clouds in the sky, I assumed that person didn't go to work. I was always worried the man who hoisted the sun wouldn't go to work one day, and it would be dark when I woke up.
Deborah

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I used to believe that on films when the cast came up on the end of films 'in order of appearance' it meant how good-looking they were. I always got confused watching the hunchback of notre dame, where frolo came before phoebus!
Mel

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When I was a kid I used to believe that the colorful spots you'd get behind your eyelids after looking at the sun were aliens trying to contact me. I would squint my eyes really tight on car trips and try and decipher what the aliens were obviously trying very hard to communicate to me. After much thought and courage, I eventually told my dad that I was being contacted by aliens. He told me that, unfortunately, I was not as special as I thought I was, but it's a good story now!
Anon

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I used to believe that my grandma took her eyes out every night and put them on the nightstand. In the morning she would put them back in. I was convinced because one morning I asked my mom if I needed to wake up grandma and she told me, "Oh, she's awake, she's just putting in her eyes." Apparently that phrase meant glasses.
Ninmir

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Until I learned that minor and miner were homonyms, I thought that the reason miners could not buy tobacco was because it would be dangerous to light a match around dynamite.
Dave

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When I was a wee kid I used to believe that the sun was good and the moon was evil because when the sun was out everyone would enjoy it and talk about how nice a day it was but when it was night time bad things happened like criminals and werewolves roaming the streets and this was all due to the vengeful moon who was the evil mastermind behind it all.
Anon

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Everyday after work, my dad would come home and empty the change from his pockets onto the dining room table. I thought this was his wages for the day.
Mar

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Up until I was about 9 I believed that my dad bent bananas for a living because that's what he told me! He actually worked in a fruit and veg warehouse and his company logo was a banana! Lol
Sarah

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When I was little, my 2 older sisters told me that if I didn't make my exit off an escalator fast enough, the rotating belt would grab my shoelaces and suck me under. They said it happened to a little boy and so even though I know it's not true, I always make sure I get off the escalator early enough to not get sucked in.
Anon

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I used to believe that we all lived in a yellow submarine
Jacob

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I used to believe that Marshmallows grew in nature.
Helen

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My brother and I thought that you burped before you died, so whenever we played dead we'd let out a huge belch and drop to the ground.
Anon

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Once, when I was 5, my brother and I were swimming in our pool. My fingers were starting to get wrinkly and I showed him. He told me that meant I was turning into an old lady. I cried.
Michelle

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I used to believe that if I forgot to feed the cats in the morning somewhere around 7 o'clock, they would drop dead that very day.
Here Kitty Kitty

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My mom use to make me vacuum our house all the time. She told me if I stopped vacuuming the carpet would catch on fire... I believed it.
Lo

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I used to believe that salami was the meat from elephant's feet.
Sarah

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When I was younger I used to think there was an infinite amount of fridges in your stomach, each fridge for a type of food. This explained why I could be full of vegetables but would still be able to fit in a few more fries. The vegetable fridge was full, but the fries fridge wasn't...
Anon

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When I was about 6, my parents left me and my sister with my grandparents for a few days to go celebrate their anniversary. Me and my sister believed that their anniversary celebration consisted of them dancing on tables in their underwear with roses in their mouths. My grandparents still laugh at us about it to this day.
Anon

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I thought when someone was described as being "mild-mannered" it meant they didn't have very good manners.
Anon

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