I Used To Believe newsletter: June 2013
Mostly kids come up with crazy ideas, but sometimes they are inspired... adult-sized swings and slides sound much more fun than going to the gym! Apart from the electric shocks, perhaps.
If we were ever driving and there were more cars going in the opposite direction of us than there were going in the same direction, I would always think there was a Tyrannosaurus Rex where we were going and that's why everyone was leaving...
My parents convinced me that when I was born they had the doctor surgically implanted a GPS tracking device behind my ear. I believed this so wholeheartedly that I went around telling all of my friends and their parents until my parents finally told me the truth.
When I was little I thought birds were having important meetings when they sat together on the telephone wires.
I used to believe that the spinning concrete trucks carried condiments around. The yellow ones carried mustard, the red ones - ketchup, and so on.
I used to believe that the rumble strips on the side of the road were the trunks of elephants living underneath that got angry when you drove on them.
When I went to get my ears pierced I cried because I thought the lady was going to stand across the room and point the piercing gun at me from there. If she missed, it could land anywhere - my nose, my eye. I was eight.
I used to believe that the road signs with an arrow pointing UP (as in up ahead) were actually pointing up to the sky. I wondered for many years how people were able to drive up into the sky!
When my mum was brushing my hair at night, I used to have lots of tangles and she would say that I had knots in my hair, I understood nuts and would be very confused.
When I was young my parents had a water bed. I believed that, since there was water in it, there must be fish, and since there were fish there must also be sharks. I was terrified that a shark was going to eat me if I got on their bed.
When I was younger, I always thought that the name of the ocean was floating in the water, like you see on maps. You know, ATLANTIC OCEAN, in huge letters, anchored to the sea floor, that you can see when you are flying across the oceans. I was a junior in high school when i was set straight.
When I was a kid, I thought that the electrical stations on the side of the road looked like a playground (monkeybars, slides, etc). When I asked my mom if we could go there, she told me those weren't for kids, and that only adults were allowed. From that point on, I couldn't wait to grow up so I could play on the adults-only playground.
I used to think that the "lane merge ahead" sign was someone trying to paint the number 11 who just could NOT get it right. I also thought we took this Route 11 everywhere we went.
i once asked my childminder what was inside your fingers and she told me 'vegetables' so i always believed that if i cut of my fingers there would be fresh carrots inside.
When I was very young, after a night of catching fireflies with my brother, my brother filled the jar with green fuzz from his sleeping bag and told me, that after a few hours. Fireflies turn into that green fuzz. If you keep them captive for too long... I believed this until I was about. 10 years old.
When I was small my uncle told me that bananas grew completely straight, and people had to bend them before they arrived in the shops. He also made me believe that if I ate watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow in my stomach.
I used to believe that at the end of the day in restaurants, the waiters would sit down for their evening meal and finish all the leftovers. So I used to make sure I left enough for the waiters on my plate!
When I was in grade school we had a history lesson about the Civil War and Reconstruction. The teacher told us the United States had split apart and then after the war the Southern states had to rejoin the rest of the country. I thought she meant literally split apart. I imagined people using big boards to nail the country back together.
When I was little my parents took me to the circus. They bought me some cotton candy and told me it was clown hair. I refused to eat cotton candy for the longest time!
I used to believe that kidney beans were real kidneys from small animals! I couldn't understand why so many people would eat them with such pleasure! One day I went to a party and burst out crying when we were given chilli con carne with rice to eat. I'm a vegetarian now but I still can't eat them.
When I was little I didn't know that they made lots of copies of the same barbie. So when I stayed at my friends house I noticed she had "my barbie", when I said something about it she said it was her barbie and it started a huge fight and I had to go home. When I got home, I saw that my barbie was in my room, but all I could think was "Well, I'm glad my Dad got my barbie back."