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I Used To Believe newsletter: March 2003

this month on the site we've made a lot of changes, including a new look and a rating system so you can now vote for your favourite beliefs! visit http://iusedtobelieve.com to check out the latest beliefs and add your own.

see you next month,

mat.

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My niece and her little friends thought the word lesbian meant that you were sexy. They walked around for days hollering "hey lesbian, you're looking really lesbian today" Finally the found out the truth after telling a teacher that she was "very lesbian".
Anon

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When I was faced with the prospect of talking about my "bits" when I was little, I'd always call them "Jenny Tails", Jenny being my name. It took me until I was probably about 8 and said something about "Janet Tails" (my sister) that I was informed that I'd misheard my mother when she taught me about my *genitals*.
Jen

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I was travelling with my Dad in the car one day when I saw him throw an apple core out the window. Thinking this was cool I threw my packet of chips out the window as well. Dad then yelled at me about how it was bad to litter, so when I told him I saw him do it, he simply said "it's different, it's biodegradable". For years afterwards when my sister and I weren't allowed to stay up and watch TV with Mum and Dad I would tell her "It's biodegradable" as I thought that meant something adults were allowed to do but not kids.
Pat

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I thought cologne would make me smell better when I drank it. After having my stomach pumped I was told otherwise.
Doofus

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My parents told me a rainbow only occurred when 2 animals got married in the forest...I believed this up to the age of 11!!!! I didn't really feel I could question my science teacher when we learned the real reason behind rainbows + light spectrums.
Lindsey

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It seems I'm not the only person to have assigned genders to the numbers. I took it a step further though, and imagined them as members in a family. For me, 1 is male, 2 is female, but they are also the little brother and sister, and don't get along. 4 is male and the "cool-guy" teenager who doesn't say much. 5 and 6 are husband and wife, with 6 wearing the pants in the family because she is bigger. 8 and 9 are the old aunts who never got married so they live together and have a bunch of cats (Like Patty and Selma from "The Simpsons"). 10 is the grandpa (Six's dad) who tries to keep everyone under control but mostly just shakes is head and mumbles a lot. After ten, we get talking about the extended family... Don't get me started.
Shan

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I used to believe that if you saved the bits of crud that collected in your eyes overnight instead of wiping them away, they would eventually grow into a whole new eyeball. Every day I would leave the 'sleep' in the corner of my eye until I got to school where I would hide it behind a door. I was hoping that eventually I would grow an army of eyeballs there.
Anon

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When I was about five, I was told that God was everywhere, watching me all the time. This, of course, made me connect him to Santa Clause, and I used to think that Heaven was Santa's summer home, and God went skiing at the North Pole, because they were best friends. I was rather confused as at why Santa wasn't ever mentioned in the Bible.
Sara

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When we were little, my mother had bought us a book titled, "How You Were Born". In this book, there was an illustration of a sperm under a magnifying glass. For years, I thought the magnifying glass was a frying pan and was totally mystified by where and how the frying pan fit into the reproductive process.
Amanda McMurray

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My friend's sister was born when she was 5. Her Dad told she is 7lb. My friend was crying as she thought she had to pay ?7 for seeing her and she didn't have that money
Helen

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When I was little, I heard my Dad say that someone would probably die at the weekend. I didn't know what a weekend was, so from then on, I assumed that the 'weekend' was when we were all going to die. I could never understand it when my mum would tell me that we were going to do something at the weekend, because I assumed we would all be dead. I believed this for years.
sue

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When I has a heavy cold, my mum told me that the stuff I was blowing out my nose was called "catarrh". Somehow I got this confused with "guitar" and was convinced I had one inside me that was trying to get out.
Helen (UK)

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road sign in the uk - 'danger-heavy plant crossing' - i thought it was a giant tree dragging itself across the road
bonzo

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I used to believe that if I pumped in my sleep and breathed it in I would turn into a rotting turnip!
Quako

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When my brothers and I used to play as kids and one of us got shot we would play dead with our arms out stretched and our feet crossed. We grew up catholic and the only dead person we had ever seen was Jesus on the cross.
Donna

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my son thought that the warning triangle on the road side that said "deer" meant that that stretch of road was expensive.
Anon

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When i was little i used to think that people who stuttered had used up their allotted number of words for the particular word they stuttered on, and couldn't say that word again without difficulty
kwaziwabbit

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I thought a "cold sore" on your mouth was the same thing as "coleslaw" and so avoided eating it for years.
Helen (UK)

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I used to believe - due to my dad and sisters that "Lassie" - the dog on the TV series was in fact a boy in a dog costume. Hmmm
Nik

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I believed that there was an actual number inside you, somewhere near your stomach, that would change on your birthday. I swear I could feel it "changing" when I woke up on my birthday.
Anon

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