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I Used To Believe newsletter: March 2005

hi,

as a special treat we've put together a rabbit themed newsletter for you this month. these are bunnies as you've never known them before: egg-laying, chocolate-stealing, human impersonators from outer space!

have fun,

mat.

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When I found out The Truth about the easter bunny, tooth fairy etc. I lost all faith in my parents and thought my mom was probably a cat burglar by trade, everything I knew was wrong and the moon landing was a hoax.
bayard

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When I was around 4 my sister told me the "truth" that my real parents were rabbits, and that my dad found me in the backyard while mowing the lawn. She said mom and dad only took me in because they felt bad about almost mowing me over. For years after I'd see a rabbit and wonder if it was a relative. Damn sister.
Bing

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When he was 3 my son asked why there was fur on his leg when he cut himself. I made a glib remark about how he was a rabbit in a boy costume. Unfortunately it stuck and for years he thought he was really an alien bunny hiding in a boy suit. In fact he probably still does.
Anon

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When I was in pre-school, my friend's mother told me that she and all the other Irish people around turned into leprechauns on St. Patrick's day. I believed her but I didn't know what a leprechaun was, so I assumed that they turned into green bunnies.
guenevere

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Whenever we passed a farm with cows, my father would tell me that they were called rabbits. I was convinced of this until first grade.
Fred

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When I was very young I watched Watership Down (the cartoon film) and I was scared to death by it. So much so that I was convinced that the evil rabbits lived in the basement and any other room that was dark in the house. I used to scream before entering and fling the doors open really hard to kill the evil bunnies.
Skid

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When I was little I filled my pockets with rabbit droppings because I thought they were special, shiny, black pebbles.
Karen

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My father told me that if I didn't eat all my Easter eggs by midnight on Easter Monday, then the Easter Bunny would come and take them back. I believed this until I caught my father eating them!
Spud Head

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My gran told me that rabbits made a noise that went "map map".
Lise

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I used to believe that bunnies could fly with their ears.
Anon

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I used to believe the Easter Bunny stole moustaches. I woke up on Easter morning when I was about 4 and my dad's moustache was shaved off. He told me the Easter Bunny stole it. I didn't trust that Bunny after that.
Allison

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I happily believed in the Easter bunny until I came downstairs early one morning. My mum was putting the eggs by the door. My feeling was one of mixed delight and fear. My mother? The Easter bunny? Did she have eggs all year round? For the next few years I looked for eggs around the house each Easter. I also feared my mother around that time. I don't know why the prospect of free chocolate frightened me.
Kat

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As a direct result of a Cadbury's advertising campaign, a friend of mine believed until 9th grade that rabbits laid eggs.
hester prynne

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When I was about 10, my mom broke the news that santa, the easter bunny, and the tooth fairy were not real. So I asked "Mom, was it you the whole time?" and she replied "Yes, baby, it was". I looked at her, started crying and said "MOM?! ARE YOU GOD TOO?!"
Nina

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I always thought that the easter bunny had special chocolate flavoured poo, and that's how he made easter eggs.
Anon

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I was made to believe (when very young) that rabbits lived by the road side and threw stones at cars going too fast. If they were really angry, they threw large stones which sometimes cracked the windscreen.
Lotta

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One Easter years ago, my parents left a small amount of cotton stuck in the doorway to our house. They then told me and my sister that the Easter Bunny must have gotten his tail caught in the door as he was leaving our house and lost some fur. My mind was blown: not only did the Easter Bunny exist but I had concrete proof!
Brian

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When my cousin was 5 he asked my father what he did in the day. At the time my father worked at an oil refinery, but decided that the process of refining hydrocarbons was too difficult for a child to understand. Instead he told him that he worked at a rabbit factory and, pointing out the window to one of the tall stacks at the refinery, told my cousin that he stood on a metal tower and counted the rabbits in the fields below to make sure none ran away. My cousin believed this for a further two decades.
Jeremy

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When I was wee, my mum told me that if you swallowed chewing gum you'd grow a rabbit's tail. One day I was so curious that I hid under a desk in my bedroom to swallow it. The tail never came, quite a disappointment after the excitement had built up that I could grow a tail!
nico blue

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If I painted an egg on Easter Sunday, it would turn into chocolate during the night.
Kay

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