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I Used To Believe newsletter: March 2009

Hi,

This month, it seems, you can always rely on siblings for mutual gain at Christmas or to help out when you can't get to the bathroom. At least they're more reliable than the sneaky family pet!

For more great beliefs visit www.iusedtobelieve.com or get the book of the site, Butter Comes From Butterflies, available from Amazon and all good booksellers!

Have fun,

Mat.

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My sister used to believe that at garage and sidewalk sales people were selling just that... garages and sidewalks.
Jess R

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When I was younger I confused the word close and the word clothes. I would constantly re-read the backs of fireworks wondering why they told me to light fireworks under my shirt. "Use only under close supervision."
Mikah

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I was convinced that if my sister and I concentrated hard enough, she could pee for me if I was busy or too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom. Poor girl, she sat on that toilet forever while I berated her for not concentrating enough.
Amanda

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When I was younger, my mom used to put me to bed listening to classical music tapes. Sometimes the tape player would make a crackling sound, and I thought it was mice re-wiring the tape player to make a bomb. Every morning I woke up relieved that the mice hadn't been able to finish the re-wiring before the sun came up...
Panda

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When I saw "F" under sex (I think this was on my birth certificate) I thought I had failed sex. I felt a little better when I saw my mom's driver's licence... turns out she failed too!
Patti

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When I was about 6 or so I told my dad that I didn't want to eat spare ribs any more 'cause I didn't want to hurt pigs. My dad replied, "Don't worry, they are only his spare ribs, he's got another set." I believed this for longer than I care to admit...
e.

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I used to believe B.C. stood for "Before Cowboys" because I heard it on a cartoon and my dad let me continue to believe it because he thought it was funny. I didn't learn any better until 4th or 5th grade.
Coral

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When my cousin was younger his name was Alexander and he thought his middle name was "ander".
Anon

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I used to believe that the kid's poem "finders keepers, losers weepers" really said "finders keepers, losers sweepers." I figured that Cinderella had a hard life, and she did a lot of sweeping!
Sara

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One day I asked my dad why men have arm hair and women don't. He told me it was so that men can use their arm to wipe food off their mouth.
e.

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There used to be a coloring contest on the back of the Sunday Comics which advertised prizes like 50 Barbie dolls, 30 tops, 25 toy cars, etc. I was amazed that they sent one person so many of the same thing! Unfortunately I never did win but it was many years before I figured that the numbers were the TOTAL of the various prizes they awarded! DUH!
Linda

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I wanted to be a cashier when I grew up because I used to believe they got to keep all the money in the cash register.
Kim

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When I was a kid I was very skinny, and my mother told me that one day the wind would blow me away. Since than I always put stones in my pockets.
Despina

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I used to believe that Santa Claus would give me and my sister more presents if he thought that we loved each other. Every Christmas Eve we would sleep in the same bed and make sure that we put our arms around each other so he would see how affectionate we were and give us more presents.
Debbie

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My brother used to believe there was special money to be used at each fast food place, especially McDonald's. This belief stemmed from my mother's favorite response when we'd ask to go to Mickey D's: "I don't HAVE any McDonald's money right now!"
Daina

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I used to believe that my mother wouldn't notice when I opened a new pack of cookies, eat some of them, then rearrange the ones left in the package, and seal the package with some Sellotape. Being a mom myself now, I know that it is impossible not to notice....
Flower

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As a child I believed that Scotch whisky had other uses besides just drinking. For one I thought it provided the sticky substance on Scotch tape. One day I tried to make some old Scotch tape stick again by putting some of my father's Scotch on it. Needless to say, that didn't work. Knowing what I know now, I'm just glad that my father never noticed any of his Scotch was missing. I really doubt that he would have believed my explanation if he had!
Brian

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When I was little I believed our family dog was a spy for my mom. I always tried to be good in front of him but if I slipped up I would beg him not to tell.
Jenny

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I used to believe that the inside of our bodies were made from metal and that our stomachs were small trash compactors and our hearts were batteries. My mother had to buy me an anatomy book to convince me otherwise.
lauren

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When I was little I used to thing poinsettias were called placentas. No one told me otherwise until I was about 12. I just remember being so happy to see so many placentas around Christmas time.
Justin

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