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I Used To Believe newsletter: March 2010

Hi,

This month we learn that eating oranges can be bad for your health if you're not expecting them, and they can foil your plans to become a better swimmer. It's probably safest to stick to eating apples.

Have fun,

Mat.

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When I was young I used to believe that the people on the TV were just tiny people inside the TV. I remember watching a documentary about something in the desert and the voice-over saying the animal in question was so dehydrated that it was close to death so I very quickly poured my glass of water into the gaps at the back of the TV in a desperate attempt to save it... I didn't get to see if it worked or not :(
jawjaa

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When I was little I used to believe that when you were born doctors would respect your privacy by not looking at your genitals and to determine your gender they would do some sort of blood test.
Esteban

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When I was a child I assumed that firemen started fires. I was extremely frightened when a fireman came to my kindergarten class.
Derek

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I never thought I could grow up to be a giraffe or a police car, like many others did. I was very well aware I would stay a human being, but I believed I could MARRY anything imaginable. Around the age of 5 I had this daydream about having all my relatives in the church, watching me walking down the aisle in a pretty wedding dress and marrying a two metre high piece of licorice candy. I was worried about whether I could control myself to only eat a very little piece of my licorice-husband every day, so that it would last for the rest of my life.
a cured licorice addict

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I used to believe that french fries were filled with mashed potatoes.... wonder how they got in there?
Nancy

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I used to believe that my Dad WAS the Incredible Hulk... When a frisbee or ball was launched onto our roof I would put a foot in each of my Dad's hands and receive a "boost" up onto the roof.
Amy Bodie, Smyrna, GA

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When I was about six or so, I asked my aunt where babies came from. She told me storks brought them to mothers in the hospital. I asked why the women at the hospital screamed and she told me the storks were man-eating and were trying to eat the mothers after the long flight. I believed her for the longest time...
S.

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I used to believe that if you farted while running you would run faster, so when I raced my friends I always tried to fart.
Yvona balsacke

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My dad used to tell me that teachers had no first names and that is why we call them Miss and Mr, that was till I realized that he and my mom were both teachers and they both had first names.
Kaytlu

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I used to believe that when you got scurvy you'd grow scales. I don't know why. My dad always told me to eat my oranges or else I'd get scurvy. I didn't eat an orange till I was about eight. I wanted to be a fish.
myninjaknees

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When I was younger I heard my parents talking about our car and they said that the engine was doing backflips, and that it wouldn't turn over. For years I believed that the engine was actually doing backflips and that it was supposed to turn over. I now know I was wrong (:
Sydney

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I used to believe there was a tiny ballerina under the drain of the tub that made the water spin when it drained.
Hilary

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When I was very little, a kindergarten classmate told me that naked pictures of people were very very bad and they were called pornography. I was too young to grasp this concept, however I remembered the word. I spent the next week secretly angry at my Grandparents. I thought they were bad people because they had a few classical art paintings of half-naked people and cherubs hung throughout their house. I told my mom one day, "I love Grandma, but I wish she didn't have so much pornography in her house." My mom was shocked, she burst out laughing. She set me straight.
Anon

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When I was little I must have asked my dad why birds don't get electrocuted when they sit on the wires. His answer was "because the electricity only runs on the bottom of the wires". I believed that well into my 20s until I learned differently!
Stevie

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When I was young, I squeezed my own orange juice sometimes and my parents informed me that orange pulp was good for you. I confused this with orange seeds and one day put an orange seed in my dad's coffee when he wasn't looking saying "it's good for you!" He subsequently almost choked.
Seeds

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I used to have a big rock that I thought was a triceratops egg, and I believed that if I sat on it long enough it would hatch.
Anon

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When I was a kid I used to think the "carpool lane" was an actual pool cars went swimming in.
skeez

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I used to believe that "tentacles", like on a squid, were pronounced "testicles". I mortified my father one night at a restaurant. He was eating calamari and I loudly asked him, "Dad, don't the testicles get stuck on your teeth?". It was a very crowded restaurant. Several tables around us started laughing and he turned bright red.
Anon

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When I was 4, my mom told me a story about the time a goat took a bite out of one of her dresses that was hanging out to dry. I took this to mean that goats loved eating clothes, and if I went near them they would surround me and eat all of the clothes I was wearing. I was terrified of petting zoos for years.
Anon

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When I was five, I used to believe that worms grew into snakes.
Mz Dimple

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