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I Used To Believe newsletter: May 2007

Hi,

Florists are being kept busy this month, ensuring that brides don't get lost on the way to the altar and fighting worldwide crime. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. To read more beliefs and add your own, go to www.iusedtobelieve.com.

Have fun,

Mat.

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I used to think that so-called "speed bumps" were a waste of time because, if anything they slow you down.
Disko

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When I was a kid, I thought all bishops moved diagonally.
Matt Maiorano

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I used to believe that my father stopped reading me stories because he grew too tall to fit in my room.
Anon

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When I was five, a tidal wave made big headlines. My dad told me it was a giant wave caused by whale farts. I continued to believe this until 4th grade when we learned about tidal waves. I only learned the truth after blurting out "tidal waves are caused by whales that have eaten too many beans!"
Laurie

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I used to believe that 'duck crossing' and 'deer crossing' signs on the side of the road were actually put there by the ducks and the deer. I remember asking my mother how ducks and deer learned to read.
Sara

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I used to think that 'Fellatio' was one of the characters in one of Shakespeare's plays. I think it was Romeo and Juliet.
Vinny

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After my mom told me I had strawberry blonde hair, I used to look for the strawberries after I got a haircut.
pearpod

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I used to believe that there was only one cheerleader on a cheerleading team. I just supposed the other people on the team were cheerers.
Anon

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I used to think that Interpol was an international flower delivery company. It certainly confused me when, in films, someone would be asked to check an ID with a flower delivery company.
Guy

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When I was a kid I thought that my plastic dolls were dead babies, embalmed and waxed. I remember crying several times over them.
Aya

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I used to believe ammonia and pneumonia were the same thing. I always wondered why we kept a bottle filled with a disease in the house, and was afraid to open it.
posty

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My dad told my sister that you had to watch out for comas because you could be walking down the street and just slip into one. For the longest time my sister would warn people about comas.
AMV

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I used to think supermarkets crossbred farmyard animals with lions because you would always see pork and beef lion (loin) on the shelves.
Kipper

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I remember Princess Diana being called "the princess of whales", so I thought that when you became a princess you got to choose an animal. I always wondered why she had picked whales.
Elizabeth

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I grew up in Reno where there were always signs posted by the slot machines that said "No Minors". I thought that they didn't want miners to play the slot machines because they were already rich enough from mining gold.
Ex-Renoite

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My father was told in school that when huskies are very cold, they breathe through their tails. He envisioned a dog covered in snow sticking its tail in the air and breathing through it. He found out 40 years later, watching the Discovery Channel, that huskies cover their noses with their tails to make breathing the cold air easier. It finally made sense.
Christopher

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My mum told me that all the screeching and scraping noises the tube trains in London made, was the bones of people who had got hit by a train grinding on the rails.
Tasha

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When I was about four I thought that if you could lift up the hem of an angel's dress you would find he was made of tightly packed dryer lint.
Carrie

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I used to belive my Dad when he told me that all the sea creatures come onto land to go to sleep at night. On holiday I used to sit staring at the shore at dusk waiting for the animals to start pouring out.
Julia

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When I was little I was a flowergirl for my uncle's wedding. They were getting married outside and the first flower petal I threw blew into the bushes. I spent a panicky minute trying to get it out, thinking that the bride had to step on every flower because she didn't know where she was going.
Puck

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