I Used To Believe newsletter: May 2012
What do you call an imaginary imaginary friend? (It's not the start of a joke.) Fitting in with friends can be a challenge, but even more so if you can't see half of them.
I believed that if you cut off those tags on pillows that said it was illegal to cut off, the police would somehow know this and come to your house and arrest you.
I used to believe my dad would plant light bulbs every year to make the plants grow. I didn't understand it was just bulbs.
I thought making out meant trying to see something (because of how people say "I can't quite make that out" or whatever).
I used to believe you could parachute with a bin bag. I realised my painful mistake upon landing but tried again anyway... a few times, just to make sure.
My brother used to tell me if I picked my nose I would become more stupid because bogey were brain cells.
I used to believe, and still do, that after spinning for a long time, spinning in the opposite direction would cancel out the dizzy.
When I was little, my Mom told me that girls don't have penises. Appalled at this, I told her we should go to the store and buy her one.
As an extension of the "salt on a birds tail you can catch it" myth, my Dad used to tell us that every Easter he would wait up to catch the Easter Bunny by putting salt on his tail. The only logic that fit was that since the Easter Bunny lays eggs for Easter (another thing he told us) the salt on the tail must apply. As an adult I actually had to look it up to see if this was a true myth or something he made up on his own.
Garry K K
when i was young i used to think i wasn't normal not to have an imaginary friend because my closest friends had them so i used to make up ones on the spot and try really really hard to see them but it never worked.....
I used to believe that the earth was like a board game for giants and that every action was controlled by them from a raindrop to an earthquake.
I used to believe that in action movies when extras would die that the director would go out and find homeless people to actually kill. Granted this was before I knew what special effects were.
I thought the Hobbit and Lord Of The Rings books were written in the middle ages (I think maybe I got Middle Earth confused with middle ages).
When I was little I ALWAYS slept on my side and pressed my ear into my pillow to protect my ear from earwigs crawling in it. On the other ear I placed a stuffed animal or covered my head with the blankets.
When I was little, I used to believe that my father knew everything. Literally. One day I was in the bath and asked him what time it was. There are no words for how shocked I was when he said "I don't know".
I thought venus fly traps are from the planet Venus.
I used to believe that fairytales were real stories that had happened and that one day someone would write about my life and then I would become fairytale character...
I thought the Golden Horn was an actual horn (like the musical instrument) owned by the Ottoman Sultans or something.
When I was very little, I believed that God was an artist named Howard. "Our Father, who does art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..." I also believed that Mary had grapes inside of her. "Hail, Mary, full of grapes..." I rationalized that one because it said, "the FRUIT of thy womb, Jesus."
Like many, I believed that teachers lived in the school, despite the fact that both my parents were teachers and were at home with me. I thought they would hang themselves up in coat closets. I remember dreaming about my parents hanging themselves up, and believed the dream to have actually occurred at some point.
I thought that Martin Luther King Jr was the great great great etc grandson of Martin Luther and wondered why he was black if Martin Luther was white.