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I Used To Believe newsletter: October 2007

Hi,

This month people are living dangerously by driving around aimlessly, putting sugar on their cereals and using bad grammar without the proper permit.

For more great beliefs visit www.iusedtobelieve.com or get the book of the site, Butter Comes From Butterflies, available from Amazon and all good booksellers!

Have fun,

Mat.

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When I was small I was told that sausages came from pigs. I thought there was a little hole in their sides where the sausages came out. I even drew it for my teacher for homework
Laura

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When I was about 8 I mentioned to my mother that the Rolling Stones song "I can't get no satisfaction" was grammatically incorrect and that it should be "I can't get any satisfaction". She explained that they were using poetic licence. For years I thought there was a special government office where you could apply for a special licence to use incorrect grammar. I also thought this applied to using the numeral 4 instead of the word 'for' on a 'for sale' sign.
Sarah

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I assumed Molotov cocktails were a kind of drink and thought it was strange that people always wanted to throw them at buildings. Until I was 17 or so.
Soap

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When I went to Japanese restaurants my dad would order wonton soup, except I thought it was called "one-ton" soup. I never understand why someone would eat so much soup.
Souperman

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I used to believe that if you reversed the radio plug in the socket the music and words would come out upside down and backwards.
Chris Morris

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You know that song that goes "When the moon hits the sky like a big pizza pie, it's amore"? well, I used to think he was saying "it's a moray (eel)", and it made no sense to me until I discovered that AMORE is "love" in Italian.
Amore

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I used to think that sharks were dolphins who were really mean and on steroids.
Tyler Leber

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For the longest time, I thought that my Great Grandma was actually my Grape Grandma, because whenever I saw her she was usually wearing purple.
Amanda

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My sister used to tell me the reason I had to take naps was because while I was sleeping my parents would change the battery in my brain.
sarah

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I believed that there were two types of trees: the "Partri" and the "Ginapear" trees. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a Parti, Ginapear tree......
JenniferJuniper

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When she was around 6, my sister thought that men studied for a Bachelor of Arts in university, and women studied for a Spinster of Arts.
Kai

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I used to believe that I could only borrow books from the library that had a 'P' on the spine, because that was my first initial. My mum thought I was a slow learner, since I brought home the same series of books about a monkey every time we had library class.
Penny M

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When I was little I demanded sugar on my cereal. My dad told me that someday I'd be eating my cereal without it and I thought that he meant it would one day become illegal to sprinkle table sugar on Rice Krispies. What he actually meant was that when I got older my tastes might change and I might actually like unsweetened cereal. I lived in fear of the day that I could be arrested for adding sugar to my cereal.
Amanda

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I used to believe the way they counted up votes was by counting the signs people used to put on their yards.
Jaci Marshall

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When my older sister signed up for cross-country running I assumed she was going to be able to bring me back things from the other side of the country.
Soap

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I used to believe that when drawing with something like MS Paint on your computer and using lots of colors, the computer would eventually run out of colors and you'd have to buy new colors from the store. Much like you have to do with printers.
Heidi

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I used to believe that joy riding was riding in the car without a destination or purpose. Every time my mom would put me in the car to drive me around so I would fall asleep, I would think of a excuse for the police for when they pulled us over for ‘fun driving’. I lived in fear of being put in jail for having fun in the car!
Jaimie

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As we all know, placing a sea shell to your ear allows your to hear the sound of the sea. Following the explanation to me of the phrase "I need a word in your shell-like"; which means a word in your ear, I believed you could listen to someone's inner monologue by placing your ear to theirs. Apparently I became quite a pest trying to do this whenever I didn't understand what was going on.
Doug Major

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I used to think that risqué was just another way of saying risky.
Anon

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I hadn't seen my grandfather for some months after moving to England from Scotland. The first time we returned, my mother broke it gently to me during the drive that he was dead. "Who shot him?" I demanded, ready to avenge him. The only death I'd ever encountered as a kid of six or seven was in cowboy movies.
neilmarr

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