I Used To Believe newsletter: November 2013
We had to include a Thanksgiving themed belief in this month's collection and would love to have seen those turkey pictures.
When I was little my dad had a corvette and he glued a switch below the radio that said turbo on it. Whenever he said it was OK I'd flip the switch and he'd floor it. I always turned it off soon after so we didn't crash. I also made sure to keep my hands away from it so I didn't cause an accident by using it at the wrong time.
I used to think that all socks were reversible and it took until 9th grade gym class for someone to say "Why are your socks inside out?" Flipped my whole world around, and my socks.
I used to believe that the moon was another country and that all countries were little planets.
When I heard of the movie Godzilla 1985 as a kid I thought it meant there had been 1984 Godzilla movies before it!
I used to believe "flirting" was a girly way of "farting"
I thought my mother was a witch until I was well into my teens. She just seemed so magical in the way she moved, and always knew exactly what to say. As a child, I always thought that when I came of age, she would tell me I was a witch too, and would train me in the ways of magic. I really liked Halloweentown.
s now bigger and older than her - and very annoyed when everybody said I wasn't!
When I was a child I used to believe that black ants were from God because they are harmless, and that fire ants were sent by the devil because they sting.
I used to think that when my mum talked about our 'address' that she was talking about and actual dress. I some how thought that each house was identified by a dress that was allocated to it by the government. This belief was also justified when I overheard mum talking to someone about where we lived and she said 'we live on the outskirts of town'. I always wanted to see this dress she was talking about.
When I was about 3 or 4 years old I thought that when it was snowing, God sent all children ice-cream... so I ate it.
When I was 10, my mom would give me half a women's vitamin a day. My 12 year old brother made fun of me, so she made him take the other half. An hour and a talk with both my mom and my dad later, my brother was finally convinced that taking a women's vitamin wasn't going to turn him into a woman.
When I was around four, my mom overheard my little brother ask me "What is the difference between boys and girls." I told him I would show him. My mom trailed nervously behind US as I lead him to a mirror. Imagine her relief when I answered "Girls have barrettes in their hair."
I used to think that a long time ago humans and animals could talk to each other. Then the animals began to loose their ability to talk as the humans began to invent more complex technology.
Whenever my sisters and I were being bad my mom would threaten that "Helga" was going to come babysit us. This so called babysitter was described as a horrid woman and we were terrified of her. As soon as she was mentioned we'd turn into little angels. The story of Helga kept us behaved for years.
When I was little and I believed that any time I watched a VHS, the actors were actually inside the movie, so I gave them 10 minute to get ready every time I put a VHS into the VCR
When I was 4 I thought the minister gave the bride and groom a brand new last name when they got married. l asked my dad what his maiden name was and my parents burst out laughing. I got so upset because I just wanted to know his old name.
I used to believe, when I was a child, that the reason you couldn't eat on the toilet was because your body couldn't handle food going in as 'food' was coming out.
My mom liked watching a lot of Maury Povich and judicial shows when I was young and these shows always featured segments where lie detectors were used. Consequently, I grew up thinking that lie detectors were so commonplace that every school, store, and police officer used them all the time. Because of this, I practically never lied as a child because I was scared someone would hook me up to a lie detector and prove that I was lying. As an adult, now I know better but even still, I find it very difficult to tell lies.
I believed that the water droplets in the strainer-like shower drain after my shower were the eyes of little drain creatures that would blink and eventually disappear when the water was all gone .
I used to believe that dandelions where baby lions and if you trod on one it would bite your foot.
I used to go to gradeschool with a girl named Samantha. She would argue with me for hours on the fact that turkeys (and all birds) had four legs like "normal" animals such as cats and dogs. Her four-legged turkey drawings at Thanksgiving always deeply troubled me, even as a six year old.