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I Used To Believe newsletter: October 2005

Hi,

Happy Halloween! The dead feature heavily this month, as you'd expect: they're crossing the road, being eaten at funerals, decomposing in pairs and bobbing for fish. For more gruesome beliefs check out http://www.iusedtobelieve.com and scream!

Have fun,

Mat.

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I was scared of the triangular roadsign with two old people on it. I thought that wherever that sign was, there was always the danger of zombies.
Santa Puncher

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When I was a kid we had to recite the creed, which said something about Jesus being 'crucified under Pontius Pilate'. For years, I thought Jesus was attacked by pirates.
Kara

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My Grandmother had an ornamental chilli plant with lots of small brightly coloured chillies on it. I was convinced it was a jelly bean tree and thought she was lying to me because she didn't want me to eat them all. Suffice to say I learnt the hard way.
H.B.

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I used to believe that all godfathers were Italian.
Madi

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I used to think that orangutans were monkeys who ate a lot of oranges.
Lina

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I used to believe that you had to eat ice cream after a meal. My dad used to say that it filled the cracks between the food in your tummy so you wouldn't creak as you walked.
Cheryl, Johannesburg

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I used to believe in the toothfairy. One day I stole my grandfathers 'teeth', pulled them off one by one and put them in a glass of water. There was no money the next day, only an angry old man and soup for dinner.
Rune

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I used to think that Hitler got both his name and his bad reputation because he went around randomly hitting people.
Anon

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For some reason, I was convinced that Santa was a cannibal and if I didn't leave cookies, he would become so hungry he would eat me. My parents wondered about the huge plate of cookies I left by the fireplace every year.
Chris

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I used to believe that 'pork chops' were called 'port chops', and came from the left side of the pig.
Anon

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I used to believe that ham came from hamsters.
Paul

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When I was young I used to believe the meat served at a wake was the dead person. I used to have problem eating at funerals.
OG

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When I first heard about evolution I honestly thought that we were monkeys which had grown into people. I figured we never saw the change because it happened in the wild.
Karnin

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I was afraid to use my dad's hairbrush because I thought it would give me gray hairs.
Anon

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I used to believe that plastic surgery was done with plastic knives.
Vicki J.

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I seriously thought that if I stuck my head out the window while the car was in motion, my hair would grow. I gave this advice to many people.


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I was told as a young child that if I didn't smile going past the police station, I would be arrested.
Anon

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Remember 'Crazy for You' by Madonna? I heard 'two by two their bodies become one' as 'two by two their bodies decompose'. As I was not quite 10, I thought this was the nastiest thing I had ever heard.
Felicity Shagwell

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Thanks to by big sister, I used to believe that you would die if you didn't follow the directions on the sweethearts that said 'bite em' or 'suck em'.
Sarah M.

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My Dad always told me that dead animals by the road were just taking a nap. Once there was a dead cat in the canal behind our house and he told me it was bobbing for fish.
Ginger

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