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I Used To Believe newsletter: September 2004

hi,

this is the last newsletter this year - the iusedtobelieve.com team (my wife and i) are going travelling until the new year and then moving to new zealand. so as an early christmas present this month's crop of the finest beliefs includes a few santa-related gems. talking of christmas, if you're after a last-minute stocking filler you could get your loved ones the book of the website, called 'butter comes from butterflies'!

have fun,

mat.


I think I am a relatively normal adult, but when I was five I used to believe that the goal of parents was to kill their kids. I remember once that I interrupted my father and he put his hand around my neck to quiet me down. I remember thinking, "okay this is it." Eventually, he let go and I thought to myself, "well, he won't do it now, there would be too many witnesses."
Kevin

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I belived that children were a gift from God. Therefore, I also belived that God hated my neighbor, Betty, because she had a baby every year and after each birth she would state,"if I have another child it will kill me."
Katheryn Mathews

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I thought that my parents made me write thank-you notes for my birthday and xmas presents because they were jealous that I got so many presents and therefore wanted to punish me.
Anon

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I used to believe that local anesthetics were just some homemade brew that the particular dentist/surgeon used rather than an anesthetic restricted to a specific region. I just figured it out during my first year of medical school.
Anon

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I had heard that people got their ears pierced by having the earring shot through their ear (with a gun of some sort). I thought that they stood you against the wall, took careful aim ... and if they missed, that was how you wound up with nose or eyebrow piercings.
AK

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My Mum and Dad were going on holiday and I sincerely warned them about time-share sharks, and to be careful in the water.
damien

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I used to believe that Marilyn Manson and Marilyn Monroe were the same person.
Gina

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I used to believe that French people where green, like the Statue of Liberty!
Joey

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When I was a little kid, I used to believe that serial killers killed people with cereal. They would concoct such vile cereal creations (fruit loops with toe jam and boogers) that people would die from eating them.
Steph

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my sister used to believe in the tooth fairy, even though she once saw the tooth fairy and wondered why she looked so much like dad... luckily she wasn't fully awake.Emily
I used to believe that Chicken Mc Nuggets were made from baby chicks
Sara

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When I was little, my parents told me that if I ate berries, I would go in an ambulance. So whenever I heard an ambulance, I thought someone had eaten berries.
Anon

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I used to belive that if you held a flashlight up to your eyes, you would eventually be able to see perfectly in the dark. I would spend hours "working" on my night vision ablilties. Today, I wear glasses.
Danielle

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When I learned in school that the middle of the earth was filled with lava, I demanded that my mom buy me new shoes with thicker soles to be as far away from the lava as possible.Rachel

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We have this hole in our backyard that's about three feet wide, and I always wondered how it got there. My older sister, who always filled my head with lies, told me that it was where my brother's spaceship landed, and dropped him off for our parents to take care of.
Lisa

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In the song Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer I used to believe there were more reindeer than I had been told about. You know, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Olive.. The line went "Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names..." I used to think what a nasty reindeer Olive was and why did Santa keep her???
Rosey

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when i used to play with the microwave when i was little, my grandma said that if i turned it on, it would alter my DNA.
casey

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When I was a little kid my sis told me santa had a red suit 'cause he dyed it with the blood of naughty kids. I believed that for a while, not anymore though. I still find him creepy.
Anon

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when i was younger i found a condom and came to the conclusion that it was used as a raincoat by caterpillars.
kimberly vickers, uk

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My 4 year old daughter told me she was eating her boogers because she thought they would turn her eyes green.
Adam Skinner

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