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I Used To Believe newsletter: September 2005

Hi,

Family seem to be the biggest cause of confusion for gullible children this month, with their mysterious window obsessions, diamond-powered watches and alarming weather warnings.

Sorry if you tried to visit www.iusedtobelieve.com when it was down recently - we had some problems but they're fixed now.

Have fun,

Mat.

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As a child I was totally floored by the fact that my dad owned a monkey wrench. We had never had any monkeys that needed to be taken apart and I could never figure out which part of a monkey it would fit on even if we had.
Gif

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I used to wonder why so many cops in movies had "Lieutenant" as a christian name.
chris

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I used to believe that the racing car with 100 on the side would always win the race, since it was the biggest number, and the car that had 1 was supposed to come last. It seems I missed the whole concept of competitive racing.
Justin

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I used to get nosebleeds a lot as a kid. When I was around 12, I was looking for concert tickets for my favorite band and another fan said the only seats left were in the nosebleed section. I thought they would have plenty of tissues and everyone would be sitting there bleeding freely, enjoying the show, and talking about ways to stop nosebleeds.
Gabrielle

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I used to scoff at kids who somehow got the idea the people in Australia were upside down. I knew that they were exactly like us, except that if they jumped they wouldn't come back down.
Starch

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After watching the original Dr. Dolittle movie I believed that llamas had two heads.
DeLaine

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Until I was 12 or 13, I used to believe that yellow and red cards were awarded to soccer players like medals.
Johan

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One of my friends told me that watches worked by sucking the power out of diamonds. I was amazed at this fact until I saw my dad replacing a battery from his watch.
Anon

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I knew that beef came from cows and that chicken came from chickens, but I was convinced that pork was obtained by mixing beef and chicken together.
Karyn

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When I was little, I used to believe that vampires drank blood through straws in their teeth.
Krystle

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I pointed out a trail to my older brother and he told me it was an airplane. From then on I refused to sit in the back of a plane, thinking it would slowly evaporate into the air.
Anon

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A friend believed that when a parachutist went from freefall to "under canopy", they went up for a while. She was 25 at the time.
Anon

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I used to believe that "window shopping" meant shopping for new windows. I always wondering why my mother wanted so many windows, and why she found it so hard to find any as she always came home empty handed.
Andy A

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I always thought gherkins were a mythical creature like a gnome or an elf.
deprived child

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When I was 4, I asked "Dad, why do pelicans have blue feet?" He answered "Because the water is cold." I was well into University before I realised I'd been had.
Vicky

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After a minor car accident my friend exchanged insurance details with the other driver. His son asked what they talked about and my friend replied "we just swapped names". His son went quiet and then asked "so what are you called now then dad?"
Anon

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I used to think Cockneys only ever talked in rhyming slang.
Anon

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I believed that if I didn't eat "hole some" food I would turn into a skeleton. Donuts were the best. I always insisted that my baloney sandwiches were not cut in half so I could bite a hole in the center before eating the rest.
moxmox

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Thanks to my uncle Barry, I used to believe the dead worms that surfaced after a heavy rain were in fact baby rattlesnakes.
Colin

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When I learned that pirates used to bite their coins to ensure they were real gold, I ran around the house biting every metal object I could find. If the item bent I made sure to inform my mother of its enormous monetary value. I am sure she was delighted to find me gnawing on bracelets and spoons.
Anon

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