people

I used to believe…

My mom liked watching a lot of Maury Povich and judicial shows when I was young and these shows always featured segments where lie detectors were used.

Consequently, I grew up thinking that lie detectors were so commonplace that every school, store, and police officer used them all the time. Because of this, I practically never lied as a child because I was scared someone would hook me up to a lie detector and prove that I was lying. As an adult, now I know better but even still, I find it very difficult to tell lies.

I used to believe that we only wore knickers/underpants in case someone pulled down our trousers! I'm quite amused by this former belief of mine and I still laugh about it!

I used to believe that the world was all lying to me about everything, like my parents weren't really my parents and everyone was secretly planning my life for me... Like if I met a new person, it was all part of the worlds plan. And if I tripped, it was people secretly underground grabbing my foot so I tripped as revenge for me being mean to someone. It was quite funny at the time to think that if I told anyone this, they would lie to me that this isn't true...

I used to believe…

My older sister once convinced me that the Russian word babushka (grandmother) meant 'an old person with wings'. She said she was a babushka, and when I asked where her wings were she said her shoulder blades were hidden wings. I spent the next few days trying to get my 'wings' to open up.

I used to believe that I was the oldest child. It wasn't because my birthday was earliest in the year (although that is true), it was because on all the TV shows the oldest child is always so much cooler than the youngest, and I thought since I am clearly so much cooler than my older sister, I must be older. Wow, I had a big ego.

I asked my sister why ninjas wore so much black. She told me it was so they would blend in more at night. I then figured that if they were doing ninja stuff during the day, then they must wear ninja suits that come in white. I wasn't sure how effectively that would work, but that's what I thought.

I was born in 1998, but I originally thought I was born in 1999, because of a mistake my first grade teacher made. It was Chinese New Year of 2005, and I was currently 6, but I was about to turn 7 because my birthday is in April. My teacher was telling me and my classmates what animals we were in the Chinese zodiac, and she was unaware that I had not yet had my birthday that year, so she subtracted my current age (6) from the current year (2005), and therefore ended up with 1999. She thought I was a rabbit, but I am actually a tiger. She said she was a rabbit, and I find it a shame that she mistakenly thought she was the same animal as one of her students. Anyway, my mom was the one who eventually told me I was born in 1998, and I argued. So she had me subtract my age from the year. This time, it was after my birthday, so I subtracted 7 from 2005 and got 1998.

I used to believe…

After watching many films I believed I was a princess and my family was my guardians. I thought they were waiting till I turned 16 till they told me the truth. I grew out of it eventually but I never told anyone for fear that the person they were hiding me from would find out.

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I thought prostitute meant some sort of government official.

I used to believe…

One day when I was about four years old I noticed my uncle had a little hole in the middle of his chin. When I asked him how he got it he told me that he was standing on the runway at the airport and that a jet plan landed and the tip of the plane hit his chin. Later I found out that it was just a demple lol

I used to believe…

When I started 1st grade, a girl told me her middle name was Marie, which is also my middle name. Because of this, I thought everyone in the world had the same middle name so I used to greet my brother by saying "Hi Daniel Marie!"

He still gets mad at me when I call him that

I used to believe…

when I was little, I used to hear my mum trying on clothes in her bedroom 'och, this ones getting tight again, too many calories' she used to say. I thought calories were little creatures that lived in your wardrobe and sewed your clothes a little bit tighter every now and again.

I used to believe…

For some reason when I was about 5 or 6 yrs. old, I used to think that men who where a different skin colour were only a different colour on the body parts that showed, like faces and hands, and the rest of their body was white like me. I have NO idea why I thought this!

I used to believe…

My parents convinced me that when I was born they had the doctor surgically implanted a GPS tracking device behind my ear. I believed this so wholeheartedly that I went around telling all of my friends and their parents until my parents finally told me the truth.

I saw this thing on TV, and I don't know where it was from, but there were a few people in it who had their faces blurred to keep their identities private. I freaked out when I saw this, because I thought they didn't have faces!

I used to believe…

When I was 4 years old, I heard people say that I was 4, and I didn't recall any mention of my age before that. So I thought my age started at 4.