When I was little, I found a jock strap lying around our family room. My two older brothers told me that it was a gas mask, so I put on my head to see if it worked. They told me that there was a part missing in the front - that's why it didn't work.
My brother kindly told me that I was so ugly my parents had to pay people to act behind 'mirrors' everywhere I went so that I would have a normal life and not know that I was hideously ugly. He also told me this was why our family was poor.
I was terrified to get my ears pierced for a long time--they said they used a gun to do it. My only knowledge of a gun was the kind that kills people. So I thought they would stand you up against a wall and aim. I didn't think the odds of them actually getting my ears were very good so it was a long time before I got them done.
i used to dress up like a ninja and hide in trees and watch people walk by, thinking they couldn't see me. but in retrospect, i'm certain they could see me perfectly clear and probably wondered what the geek dressed up like a ninja is doing in that tree.
My parents always used to tell me that you had to wear clean underwear everyday in case you were in a car accident. I grew up thinking that my underwear could stop traffic
I used to think that women's handbags were hambags and every women went around carrying ham, for a reason I never questioned.
I wouldn't wear stripy socks because I used to believe the stripes dug into your feet
This happened about a week ago,and it is about my Four year old son.
I went to the tiolet at a friends place and she had a set of weight scales in the bathroom.
Being female I jumped on and muttered to myself."I'm not as big a last time".
Then I got off,and my boy jumped on ....."How big are MY feet Mum?"
I thought cologne would make me smell better when I drank it. After having my stomach pumped I was told otherwise.
When I was little, I really liked the way mustaches and beards looked and planned to grow my own someday. I changed my mind after discovering that facial hair on women is not deemed desirable in the western world.
When I was a little girl, soda pop bottle tops had a cork insert. It was possible to pry this loose in one piece. One of my uncles showed me how you could sandwich your shirt between the bottle top and the cork, thereby attaching the bottle top to your clothing.
I thought this was the most elegant thing in the world. And I knew that it was my destiny to go on the stage wearing a costume made of nothing but soda-pop bottle tops. I knew I would be a star. Never stopped to think about what I'd need to perform; the bottle-top costume was more than enough.
When I was 5, sitting outside a hotel in a rented convertible, I saw a very fat man walk by. Much to my dad's embarrasment and to the fat man's amusment I quipped "Boy, if he was skinny he sure would be tall, huh dad?"
Apparently I thought people did not loose weight, they just rearranged it.
As a young child, my son, stood watching me as I weighed myself on the bathroom scale. After a short pause he asked if he could also "measure his feet"!
I used to believe that a cross dresser was a person who wore differnt types of clothing I.E Nike and Adidas---my brother told me this in 3rd grade and i believed him untill around 6th.
When I was little, my older sister had braces. I remember thinking that they were jewels that grew on her teeth, and they were sooo pretty. I wanted jewels to grow on my teeth, too.
My brother used to believe that he mustn't wash his hair on the same day that he had a haircut - it'd wash his haircut out.
my sister told me that in order to 'mature' as a girl, there was a store called the 'boobie swop shop' across the bridge that you would visit when it was 'time'.
I had this image of all of these boobs hanging on hangers, and of course you had your choice.
I used to think that braces were decorations for your teeth and that they had to drill holes in your teeth to install them.
When I was little I was so scared that when I grew up I would have to go to the store naked to by new clothes because I would have outgrown my old ones!
All the mirrors in our house were up high so the adults could see in them and I never needed one so I never realised I was more then just two eyeballs floating in mid air until I was tall enough to happen to catch my reflection in the mirror while bouncing on the couch one day. I scared myself so bad I actually wet my panties.