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My father used to tell me that I would stop growing and shrink if I lied. I was the smallest kid in school and it made me believe that I was a lier.
When I was young my mom told me that if I lied hundred times I would see a scorpion. Everytime I saw a scorpion I told myself that I would never tell a lie.
I told my younger brother that when he lied his eyes changed colors. From that point on, every time he told a lie he'd either look away or close his eyes. That lasted until he was about six or seven, and then I had to figure it out on my own.
My best friend knew just how to get me. I was so gullable, I believed anything just because you told me so. We had a nice size piture of the Queen Elizabeth the 11 hanging up in our school hall. Trina said that she was able to find a soft spot in the piture which allowed her to visit the queen. I was a bit hesitant to believe her, but she was quite persistant. Anyway, I had this beautiful velvet piture of a castle hanging over my bed, so I got up and searched hight and low for that soft spot. Giving up for just a bit, to anaylize the piture, I got back up and searched all over the piture again to make sure I got every spot. I was quite dissappointed to discover that my friend did indeed get me again. (Chuckle)
i used to live across the road from a girl who was 6 years older than me,
and who filled my world with lies. Apple trees grew in your tummy if you ate pips,
chewing gum would wrap round your heart if you swallowed it and bees
would come back to life if you wraped them in foil. Also if you died in your dream
you would die in real life. I have died in my dreams a couple of times now,
but who knows if i have really woken up.
I used to believe that I could tell the time by looking at the clouds and imagining I could see numbers. What I could actually see was the church clock in Audenshaw, and as it stopped a lot my friends were never very impressed with my David Blaine-esque talents.
When i was in kindergarden, a friend of mine told me multiple lies. One that stood out was that a robber came and tried to rob his house. however he stopped the burgler by beating him up...he told me that he made pee come out of a different hole. When i told my parents this at dinner, they yelled at me.
One day when I was 5 or 6, I noticed a strange lump in the pavement. The boys with whom I played convinced me that they had killed and buried my sister there that morning. When I pointed out that my sister was playing at the top of the road, they told me she was just the robot they had made to replace her. I believed them for nearly a week.
When I was younger my brother told me that I would bite off my tongue if I didn't stop drawing in all the books.
My friend Trev told me the following lies in Primary School.
- He had Coco The Clown's phone number.
- He had an elevator in his house.
- He had monsters in his garden that lived in a hole and at night they would let you in to play.
- He had a room in his house where when you opened the door you went to a secret island where it was always sunny and people gave you back massages.
This from a boy I was later to get on TV's Live & Kicking. Charming.
My mum told me that when I told a lie, blue smoke came out of my ears. The worse the lie, the more smoke there was. I thought I could fool her by putting my hands over my ears when I told a whopper. Of course then, she had a clear indicator of when I was lying. DOH!
Not strictly mine, but I had a friend (let's call him Keith, that's his name) whose dad told him that numbers went in the sequesnce 'one, two, three, four, five, six, several' . . . he was nearly into secondary school before much persuasion got him to grudgingly concede the existence of the number seven.
not actually my beliefs, but things i have convinced friends of mine. the capital of england had moved to manchester, so the northener's could have a day out; the pope is a jew; that my sister has a moustache and that spock and uhuru got together in star trek 1 and had a baby called wharf.
one of my older brothers had a friend called dick, which he explained was short for richard. he also told me that kate is short for bob, a lie i only just figured out.
I convinced my sister she was adopted. From the age of eight to eleven she firmly believed that my parents had found her at an orphanage, and her real parents were gypsys who couldn't afford to feed a dog and a little girl so they got rid of her. When ever she asked for proof I'd point our that our family photo album didn't have any pictures of her under the age of three (which was true). It took her a long time getting over the truth >:-}
When I was about 6 my older sister told me I was adopted and that my real parents were the Indians who owned our local sweet shop and were currently going through the courts to try and get me back. When I asked mum, she laughed, and I ended up believing this until I was 10yrs old. I never used that sweet shop.
I used to have to hang around with a kid called david who was much younger than me because his mum was friends with my mum but I didn't want to hang around with him so I used to make up stories so that he wouldn't come out with me and my mates. I once told him that the Chicago Bears were training up at the park and if they saw him then William "the fridge" Perry would jump on him and squash him. Another time I told him they had built a spaghetti junction in our village up South Row and it was too dangerous for him to come and play with me. I feel a bit guilty now but at the time I thought it was well funny. (And he believed me).
Caravan holidays are fun.
Me and a load of mates convinced my sister and all her mates that Lisa Stansfield (she of "Been around the World" fame) used to be a bloke called Stan Lisafield who was a coal miner from Yorkshire before becoming a singer ... she managed to convince her whole year at junior school it became Gospel ...