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When I was just getting ready to start kindergarten, my dad tried to teach me to write my name. He wrote "CRYSTAL" on a sheet of paper and told me those were the letters to my name. He didn't understand when I wrote"LCATRSY" (or something similar).
I thought the letters were MY letters (and no one elses) and I could use them in any order I wanted.
I wonder just how worried he was about me starting kindergarten.
My dad's a farmer, and so we have CB's in our tractors. He always used to say "Hey you!" over the radio to someone else, and I actually thought someone's name was HeyYou. It didn't help that he told me someone WAS named HeyYou...but later on he said he was pulling my leg. I was so broken hearted...
When I was a kid, my parents had a good friend named David who was in his 40s. He was called Big David and I was Little David. I thought that when I grew up there couldn't be two different Davids and I would have to change my name. I liked Jason.
I am from the Washington D.C. area and when I was younger, the former Mayor, Marion Barry, was in the news quite a bit. For some reason, I didn't understand that he was just one person -- I thought it was really nice that they let a husband and wife team run the city - Mayors Mary and Barry! What is even more amusing is that my twin sister thought the exact same thing even though we never discussed it!
Growing up as a twin can do funny things to your identity. In fact, I used to think my name was Tommyjason because my mom would always call my brother and I (for dinner, etc.), "Tommy! Jason!"
I used to believe and wonder why, my dads unmarried sister Hannah had a different surname to us; we were Wood and she was Tanner; as everyone called her Anne Tanner!
When my sister Kylie was about 10 some kid in the neighborhood came up to her and was talking about this girl that lived on the end of our street who killed little kids whose names started with the letter K. Poor Kylie got so scared that one day when we went to play at a friends house down the street she wouldn't pass the house that had been pointed out to her. She even started crying.Then to make things even worse the girl came outside and Kylie ran home screaming.
When I was young I believed I was some legendary superhero called "The Great Back", - along the lines of The Incredible Hulk etc. Imagine my disappointment when some years later, I discovered I was indeed "The Great Back" but only in the sense that my Mam used to say; "Get washed son, you're as black as the grate back"
When I was younger, I had a chinese name and a christian name (which was really more of a nickname). When my brother was born, he didn't have a christian name and I asked my mum why. She told me it was because my grandparents had died, and because of that, all the kids in the family who were born after the grands death couldn't have christian names too. I believed her until I was 20. can't believe I was that stupid.
My Friend told me once that he was in a minor car accident with his 7 year old son in the passenger seat. My friend got out the car to swap, name, insurance details, etc and then got back in the car and drove off. His son later asked what he was talking to that man about in the other car and my friend replied, 'we just swapped names and things'. his son then went all quiet and then asked..... 'so what are you called now then dad?'
My mom's last name starts with an N, but because of her Southern drawl, folks hearing her spell it out sometimes think that N is an M. So to clear up confusion, my mom always started spelling her name by saying "N as in Nancy..." Only, I was confused, and decided that my mom's middle name was really Enasinantsy. I named my teddy bear Enasinantsy after my mom, too.
When I was younger, I thougt that Benadryl was only for my brother, whose name is Ben. I thought that if any other person took it, they'd turn into my brother. Imagine my horror when my mother tried to give me a spoonful one day..!
My older brother's nameis Michael and we call him Mike for short. So when I asked my mom what the fat thing plugged into the wall with a door was, she answered, "That's a microwave." I was heartbroken, and angry that my brother had a kitchen appliance named after him but I didn't!
I thought a teacher's last name was their first name. Since my teacher's names were, Mrs. Zen, Mrs. Murry, and Mrs. Francis I thought their names were in fact, Zen, Murry, and Francis.
I concluded Mrs. Francis had the only normal parents.
I thought it was illegal to call your parents by their real name. One day I even tested it out to see if I'd get arrested, "KELLY!" I shouted for my mom and then ran to my room crying.
I thought I was the only person in the world with the name Josie and if anyone else was named Josie they'd get arrested. One day while going to the bank with my mom I heard a man calling his little girl, "Josie come here!" I quickly ran up and corrected him.. "You change her name right now or she's going to jail and it will be all your fault!" My mother grabbed me, apologized and we were sent home. I thought this was because they wanted to clear out the bank before they arrested the little girl. Then one day I was told otherwise when I asked my mother if I can apologize for getting her put in jail. Boy, was I disappointed..
I used to think that there was a Momma Wheelie because I'd always heard of Poppa Wheelie.
(Pop a wheelie}
My Mom used to believe that there was a woman named Mrs. Sippy.
When I was little, I used to believe that my name was "Mico," even though I knew it was spelled Michael. I got this idea from the Nickoloden game show, GUTs that was hosted by "Mico Malley" (Mike O'Malley) After that I thought that "micowaves" (microwaves) and "mico machines" (Micro Machines) were named after me.
I once made my little cousin believe that his name used to be "Ajabar" and they changed it to John when he was too. He then ran to his mom yelling "Mommy, I want my name to be "Ajabar" again!"