religionChoose one of the following categories: afterlife, characters, church, hymns, prayers,or view the best beliefs in this section as voted by visitors. Here are the ten most recently added beliefs:
As long as I can think back, I have always imagined souls as transparently green, slightly fluorescent tennis bats on the inside of our bodies. I also imagined god as an old man made from the same material, who could suddenly appear everywhere.
When I was 10 and watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince in theaters with Dad and my brother Shaan, when Snape said "No! He belongs to the Dark Lord!" I thought he was talking to Harry and I thought he meant that Dumbledore belongs to the Devil and is in hell.
I used to think juice was called jewish
After drinking the wine, our priest would kneel below the altar as usual. When I was five, I thought that the priest was "disappearing" under the table to spit the wine out because it tastes fuckin' horrible.
I also thought that the wine which is constantly spat everyday would help to deteriorate the church, and that this was the true meaning of christianity.
I used to think that when you pray to god, he really would answer and you would hear it like a magical voice in your head. But every time I prayed, God never said anything back. I got upset. I thought he wasn't listening to me or I was a bad kid and that's why he wouldn't talk to me and everyone in the church would tell stories about how God changed their life and how prayer was so good for them and that just made it worse because I felt like the only one he wouldn't talk to. And since my mom told me that God knows everything, the only reason I thought God wasn't talking to me is because he already knew my future and I was going to be a bad person so he already didn't care for me and I was just destined for hell. Pretty dark huh? When I think back, i think maybe religion is just too extreme for children to really understand but then I'm an atheist so I still don't really get the point
When I was 8 and having my first communion, my mom put a white veil on me and I protested, saying "But this is for marrying. I'm not getting married."
Mom said "You're marrying God." Now I realize she just mean that this would make me closer to god but at the time it sounded awful. I got so upset and started crying saying "I don't wanna marry God." I thought that first communion meant you really actually married God, and you never got to fall in love with anyone else.
Due to hearing something wrong after asking a question (asking why god needed our tithes since he could poof some dollar bills into existence), for a long while I thought that after Jesus supposedly resurrected, he moved to new york and lived in some insanely expensive apartment. I had basically zero understanding of time or anything, so this made sense at the time- all I knew about Christianity was God made the universe, became Jesus, died and resurrected.
When I was little, there's was a carved portrait of St. Martin de Porres on a particular wall in my room. I used to think that the guy in the carved portrait was actually what God looked like. So, to me, God was a black man wearing white robes. However, I had a kid's Bible of the white Jesus variety (to those who still don't know: Jesus was a Middle Eastern man, what with being a Palestinian Jew and all) so I thought Jesus and all other characters from the Bible were actually legitimately pink people with funny noses. Thus, the Holy Trinity: black God, pink Jesus, and a white dove for the Holy Spirit.
I used to believe God was real.
When I was five, we sang a hymn in the school hall every Friday and one of the hymns said "tell me who made the world" - I thought 'tellmewho' was the name of a person and that this person made the world, lol! Later on I thought Tellmewho was another name for God... I was seven when I realised "tell me who" is three separate words!!