religion

I used to believe…

This is somewhat embarrassing when I look back on it. When I was about eight years old, my grandma would always buy those newspapers with headlines such as 'Elvis has Alien Child'. As a child, I was fascinated with these type of stories. I happened to read a story saying that scientists had proof the world was going to end on September 1, 1994. One day I wrote in the fog on my bedroom window "God Please Don't Let The World End". Imagine how I felt when September 1st came, I was scared to death!

I used to believe…

When my mom was younger, her family attended this really traditional Roman Catholic Church where the service was entirely in Latin, so you couldn't really understand what was going on. A bell was rung when they did communion, and it was a really solemn part of the mass. When her parents brought her younger sister to church for the first time, the bells were rung for communion and her little sister stood up on the pew and shouted "Wait a minute, Hoppy! I want ice cream!" (Hoppy was the driver of the town ice cream truck, and she thought that the bells she heard came from the ice cream truck)

I used to believe…

At the pre-Vatican 2 Mass' finish, a prayer to St. Michael the Archangel was recited. I used to say,"St. Michael the Dark Angel...." IT was followed by a prayer the Hail Holy Queen which refers to, "St. Joseph, thy most chaste Spouse". I always used to say, "St. Joseph, thy most chaffed Spouse."

I used to believe…

When I was six, the Sunday School teacher went around our class asking each of us what we knew about Jesus. When my turn came, I said that He really liked animals. The teacher asked me how I knew that, and I replied, "Because he healed the leopards." It must have taken a lot of effort for her to keep a straight face while she explained what a leper was.

I used to believe…

At school our class of six year-olds were all told to draw a picture of the Nativity to put up on the walls for Christmas. I drew the stable with a lovely light bulb and shade hanging from the ceiling. No one could explain to my satisfaction why there could not be a light bulb hanging over the manger for baby Jesus in case he was scared of the dark. How else would the wise men see where to put the gifts? It went up on the wall and I rode out the ridicule, certain that I was right.

I used to believe…

When I was younger, whenever my parents got upset they'd exclaim, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" However, I thought they were saying, "Jesus is marrying Joseph!"

I've since converted to Paganism.

I used to believe…

Being born in a highly religious Catholic family, many of my beliefs and fears were centered in religion. I had great difficuly conceptualizing a 'soul'. I suppose I just went for whatever seemed the closest. It was the heel of a shoe. For many years I'd imagined my soul in the shape of a heel of a shoe living inside my chest. I thought when you died it floated out of your mouth with little white wings on each side of it.

I used to believe…

When I was little I used to think that God looked like Ronald McDonald and that he lived in the vent in the ceiling of our downstairs bathroom. I used to go in there and look up to the vent and pray. Go figure.

I went to Catholic school, and when I was about 9 I committed the "original" sin of taking communion without first going to confession.......I worried myself SICK over this, thinking something really awful was gonna happen to me! It didn't, and I'm now totally non-religious! Guilt? Who needs it!

I used to believe…

When I was young I always had this one idea of what good looked like in my head, to this day I can still picture it. It wasn't until a year ago when I realized that the picture look exactly like Hagrid from the Harry Potter movies!!!

I used to believe…

My 4 year old son followed me outside one day when I went to get something out of the car. I heeard him talking to me, so I pulled my head out of the car and asked him to repeat what he'd said. He said, "I'm just calling to Jesus". Then, he hollared up at the sky, "Jesus?! Jesus?!". We went back inside so that I could get ready for work. When I left for work about 30 minutes later, my son walked me to the door. Apparently, during that time inside, someone had placed an advertising flyer on our door. My son grabbed the flyer and excitedly exclaimed, "a note from Jesus!". He now believes that all of the flyers are notes from Jesus.

I used to believe…

When i was like 4 i didn't understand about the Eucharist at mass and one day in The middle of Church I yelled to my mom LOOK MOM THEY ARE GIVING AWYA FREE SAMPLES! I recived many laughs and funny looks and I didn't understand why my mom woulnd't let me go up to get some!

I was raised in a non-religious household, so my ideas about got and religion were pretty sketchy. I knew that OTHER people knew this God guy, and that they talked to him and everything because I had seen people praying and preaching and all. Until I was about 8 I believed that God existed, but he just didn't know about me. Like I was flying under his radar or something. I mean, he hadn't been talking to me like he talked to other people! Every now and then I'd consider sitting down and introducing myself to God, just so he'd know I was there. But then I'd get nervous that he would be mad at me for not introducing myself earlier. So I just kept putting it off...

I used to believe…

A common expression in the church I attended when younger is it was the house of the Lord. I always wondered where he was when we were "visiting his house", and I believed he was behind this door in the front of the chapel (housing the organ machinery) and our pastor was there in front to prevent us from going up and disturbing Him.

I used to believe that when you were at church handing offerings in the little tray, the pastor would then take the money outside and throw it up in the air so God could catch it.

I used to believe that because God had a son that he must have had a wife and that because Jesus was older now, he was looking for a wife, so i thought that if i was good i could be Jesus' wife.