religion

I used to believe…

When I was young, every Easter we sang a hymn in church which went "Low in the grave He lay, Jesus my saviour". I always thought the grown ups were singing "Low in the gravy lay Jesus...". To this day I can't sing it with a straight face!

I used to think that my dad was jesus, because he looked like the traditional brown bearded, blue eyed illustration of him. but I also kind of though that he was the devil because he didn't come to church with me and my mum. It was ver confusing.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid, I had a mother who painted a lot. Mostly aquarells.. So every time I watched the sunset, I thought that it was God, taking a brake from his stressful life, just to sit down and paint. A different picture every night... =O)

I used to believe that God, Jesus and Santa were the same person. I was really happy when my parents told me that Santa didn't exist, because I thought I wouldn't have to go to church anymore.

I used to believe…

By second grade I had learned about the chosen people, the Jews of biblical times. I had never heard the term in a contemporary context so when a little girl my age, a neighbor of my grandmother, told me she was a Jew, I remember being absolutely amazed and delighted. I had assumed they no longer existed, as if in another era they had mysteriously become extinct like dinosaurs.

I used to believe…

As a little girl, my mother took me to visit her godmother, an extremely old woman with lots of religious pictures/statures, etc. Since she was so old, and had pictures of Jesus everywhere, and I apparently mis-heard "God's mother", I truly thought she was the Blessed Mother. I was terrified of misbehaving. Even though her name was Cecilia, I figured it was a decoy so other people wouldn't mob her.

I used to believe…

when i was younger i thought that the line in the Hail Mary prayer that says 'blessed are thou amongst women' was actually 'blessed are those who are swimming'. makes sense, right?!

I was convinced that God was married to Mother Nature until I went through Confirmation in the eigth grade.

My pastor thought it was funny and told the whole congragation about it the next Sunday.

I knew that Jesus died on a cross, and I concluded that this must have made
him rather cross. I also imagined the cross as a bed of nails leaning against
a wall, holding up a scowling Jesus.

I used to believe…

There's a song, a hymn, called "There is a Balm in Gilead". I used to think it said "There is a Bomb in Gilead". And I would picture an unexploded bomb, half buried in the dirt, waiting to accidently go off! I wanted nothing to do with Gilead!

I used to believe…

When I asked my grandmother what happened to the money we put in the collection plate at church, she said it "was for God." I interpreted this literally, but added a childish fantastic twist to the concept, and believed that every so often God would send a flying ship called "The Ship of Zion" (I have no idea why it was called that) to collect the money and take it to heaven. This still struck me as odd, because supposedly heaven's streets were paved with gold...

I used to believe…

A verse of the hymn "The Church's One Foundation" describes the church as follows: "Elect from every nation yet one o'er all the earth." I had never seen "elect" used as a noun before, so I assumed that it was a verb and that the verse was encouraging us to hold an international election to choose one person to be President of the World. I had no idea why.

I used to believe…

We were not required to attend school during the three summer months, so I assumed that church worked the same way. All through May and June, I kept wondering which Sunday would be the last before our summer vacation from church services. But graduation day never came.

I used to believe that whenever you saw the sun coming through the clouds in precise sunbeams...like they show in illustrated children's bibles...that that meant that God was talking to someone.

I told my husband this and he was very touched...and created a piece of artwork to show this!

I used to believe…

Once we went to church we were going to give money when they passed around the collection box. I cried and sceamed so bad because I wanted the money my selfe.
I didnt really understand the whole thing of shearing!

I used to believe…

in mass, instead of
"...for the good of all this church"
i always thought it was
"...for the good of August church". probably because my birthday was in August. didn't figure this one out until i was probably 10 or so...