religion

I used to believe…

Because Christmas was in December and Easter was in April(ish), I thought that Jesus' whole life was lived in that time frame. He was born on Christmas, then BAM! turned into an adult a few month later.

You know, because he's God and all, and when you're a kid, that's the same as magic.

I used to believe…

When I was in elementary school, I went to a Catholic school where we took "going to church" very seriously. Our church was right down the road so it made it easy for us to walk there as a class almost every week. Our teachers always told us the basics on how to conduct ourselves during a mass. I was always afraid on doing something wrong so I'd do everything that the priest would do. If he'd raise his arms, I'd raise mine. It wasnt until the end of the second grade that one of my friends standing next to me poked my arm to ask what i was doing. She explained to me that i didnt have to copy everything he does, and I remember feeling really horrible after, b/c I was worried that if the priest saw me doing that, that he might've thought i was making fun of him. In reality for as long as i had been going, I didnt know.

I used to believe…

when i was like 7 i thought that heaven was a really big hotel where everyone had their own room, and depending on how good a person was during their life, determined how nice of a room they got. i was always afraid that god would run out of rooms and i wouldn't get one

I was raised Catholic, and at Easter we'd always hear the stories about the women encountering Jesus after his resurrection. I somehow twisted this into thinking that Jesus came back to life EVERY Easter, and that there was some secret place grown-up women knew about where you could go to meet with him face-to-face.

I used to believe…

when i was a kid and i was at mass, i used to believe that the smell of the incense was the smell of the grown ups around me, the smell of their freckles! i know, weird. but in my defence i was a pale kid with almost no freckles so i assumed thats what the smell was. i used to hate that smell.

I used to believe…

When I was little I thought that heaven was made of clouds and that there were little viewing rooms with windows on the floor so your deceased family member could see what you were up to.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I had my own prayer. I used to say it every night before going to bed. I thought someone would die if i didn't say it. This went on about a year or so.

I used to believe…

My brother and I are preacher's kids, so we were at church all the time. I was very gullible and my brother was very mischievous and in the hymn "Jesus is a Rock in a Weary Land," my brother told me the lyrics were "Jesus threw a rock and away he ran!" Then he went into this big explanation about how in olden times people were stoned to death for doing bad things, and if I wasn't good, Jesus was going to throw a rock at me. I think my brother was a religious terrorist.

I used to believe…

One sunny Sunday in June just after summer vacation started when I was seven, I was swinging while my mom's back was to me as she was hanging the clothes to dry. It was a perfect moment to really lean back and swing high like I was told not to. I leaned a little too far back and slid off the swing, bashing my elbow on a rock. God had gotten me!

I ran into the house and buried my face crying into the couch so he wouldn't hear me, after all I'd gotten what I deserved for disobeying my mom. Complaining would just make Him angrier. For the rest of the day I stoically held my arm still and said I was fine. In my mind I had to accept my punishment and it would stop hurting when God forgave me.

By nightfall it was clear something was seriously wrong with my arm so they took me to the hospital. I actually broke my elbow and for some reason spent 3 days in the hospital (this was back in the days when parents couldn't stay) This really scared me so I was very wary of disobeying my parents for quite a while.

I used to believe…

When I was little I used to think that God looked like the KFC colonel who lived in the heaven and never slept while he watches over us. I also used to think that he always smiles...

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I asked my mom what heaven was like. She told me it was basically like a big ballroom, where you spent forever dancing and singing. I never liked to dance, or sing, so I thought it sounded really boring.

I used to believe…

The Rain Was gods way of crying out to his people

I used to believe…

My church's pastor, who is also my sister's godfather, had a brown beard. He was also one of the kindest people I knew and still is. When I was little, I honestly thought he was Jesus.

I went to a preschool at a church and all of the adults kept referring to the church as being "the house of the lord". I assumed it was literally the house of god and started looking for him everywhere in the church. After many days and no sightings I deduced that the lord must be living a very reclusive life in one of the portable building behind the church. I spent most days at recess peeking into these buildings and even had other friends help me look for the lord in a trailer. I never found him :-(

I was raised in the Catholic church, and during mass the priest would say a blessing, and make gestures over the sacremental bread and wine (turning it into the body and blood of Christ).

I believed that since he could do this, he had magical powers (like Gandalf or Merlin) and I wanted those same powers as well, so I would imitate everything he did during mass in hopes that I would also become magical.

This of course horrified my parents, who thought I was being blasphemous!

Since I could no longer follow in unison with the priest at church, I used to secretly practice at home with Kool Aid and potato chips.

I used to believe…

In our baptst church we sing a song entitled "Trust and Obey".� The lyrics in one of the verses say "as we walk by His side IN THE WAY".� We always laugh because it sounds like we are holding up progress.� WE'RE IN THE WAY!� Boy that speaks volumes doesn't it!