religion

I used to believe that all dead people were squashed into a heart. [3
I used to believe that they would bang their heads on the dip in the roof and had hardly any room.
This is because my mother told me all dead people live on in our hearts.

I wasnt under influence of my parents but when i was 10 I thought that if i dont belive in God i will burn in hell and i was scared of him to death. Maybe thats why Iam atheist today :)))

I used to believe…

When I was about four, I thought you could only be Christian or Jewish. Jews, I believed, were simply people who didn't believe in God. My mother told me that my father didn't believe in God, so I asked her one day, "is Daddy Jewish?" She was very confused and told me "no, he's an atheist." This was my first exposure to the term.

I thought that all tithe money was put into a small room and God came down and took the money to heaven with him. They always said it was "God's money" then they would take up collection and then walk it out of the main sanctuary. I thought that if I could just hide in that room then I would be able to see God.

I used to believe…

In about the 7th grade my friends and I would never be able to make it through church with a straight face whenever the congregation sang the hymn "Lead On Oh King Eternal". It always sounded like they were singing "Lead On, Oh Kinky Turtle." - Still makes me laugh!

I used to believe…

My Mother once told me when I was a little kid while we were in Church that it was God's house.
Our church had a back room for the choir and I always thought that was were God lived. I always wondered why He would never come out...

I used to believe…

Sometimes God looked like Rafi, the children's singer, and sometimes like Ella Fitzgerald.

I used to believe…

Before geography really sank in at about nine, I used to think that Jerusalem was in South America somewhere, most often Chile as that was the one South American country I knew. I thought that Jerusalem had to be this big expansive place and everything in Europe was taken. My parents were rather confused at my versions of Christmas and Easter.

I used to believe God was like the evil magic genie in fairytales who would grant wishes with unwanted consequences so I had to pray very carefully and specifically so as not to leave any loopholes.

I used to believe…

When I was in preschool, I used to believe that the baptism tank in my church was a mini-swimming pool. When we would have to go up and sing at Christmas time, I always wanted to go jump into the mini-swimming pool instead of sing Christmas carols. My mom finally told me that it was a baptism tank, not a swimming pool. It still kinda bums me out to this day, and i'm 18.

I used to believe that all churches were built by God rather than by people.

I used to believe…

Before I learned that the word "brethren" means "brothers", I associated it with the word "breath". I had heard of a church called "Church Of The Brethren" (not a church I had ever attended). I though it must be a church that particularly emphasized the belief that our breath is the spirit of God within us.

I used to believe…

When praying I thought saying Amen at the end of the prayer was the religous version of saying "over and out" at the end of a radio communication.

I was always concerned that after I had said the Lord's Prayer for the first time I had permanently finished my communication with God by saying: "For ever and ever, Amen".

I used to believe that Catholics were not allowed to eat pistachio ice cream. Where did I get this silly idea? I was brought up in a strict Catholic household -- with lots of aughts and naughts. In my young mind, anything my mother DIDN"T like, was "anti-Catholic" or not allowed.

I used to believe…

when i was younger i used to think there was only one "church of england", like it was one giant magical church. little did i know that there were churches of england all over england.

I used to believe…

Whenever I was a child around Christmas time, I would always pray to Jesus and then ask him to 'hand the phone to Santa' so I could tell him all that I wanted for Christmas. I would wait 10 seconds, then proceed with Santa, and then whenever I was finished I would ask him to 'hand the phone back to Jesus' so I could say 'Amen' and finally go to sleep.

I guess I always believed that prayer was some sort of spiritual phone-call.