religion

I used to believe…

When I was little, I used to believe that anyone who didn't attend my Church worshiped the devil. Duh - what other choice would they have had? However, it was interesting how normal they could appear...

I used to believe…

When I was younger I beleive that the devil was under ground and since he was mean and didn't like God we should stomp on him to hurt him and i thought of him hurting he's head...

i used to believe that if i would give the finger to the ground i would make the devil grow. because hell is in the earth you know? and if i gave him the "pointer" holding my pointer finger at him i would make him shrink. and vise versa for god. i would do it alot just to do it and then appoligize to god for making him so small.

I used to believe…

Okay so the other day in Sunday School at my church we were talking about Palm Sunday. Mrs. Reitz (the teacher) said that Jesus's followers fanned him with palms and put palms on the ground so that he would have to step in the mud. Then just yesterday I asked my mom, "Wouldn't it hurt to have your palms stepped on?"
And Mom said, "At my church on Palm Sunday they would give us a palm to wave around"
"WOW they gave you a real hand?"
I thought they meant the palm of your hand, not a palm leaf! I'm 11!!!

I used to believe…

Back in the day when I was a little kid I used to believe that Satan was under the ground we all walked on. So, I figured since he's doing evil things to people, might as well give some pay back by just stomping on the ground.

I used to believe that the soul was a "green, lima-bean shaped organ located somewhere near the gall bladder." This is the description of the soul I would have in my head whenever I thought about it. My grandma also had a little purple man as decoration in her kitchen who peeked over the cupboard with his nose hanging over -- somehow I then conceived that God was a purple man in a brown fedora and a big, green nose, who sat in the clouds and peeked over them when necessary to throw down lightning bolts.

I used to believe…

We weren't really religious, so i became curious at the age of 3 or 4 why people went to Church or Temple and what the difference was between the two. My parents told me that at temple they worship God and at church they worship God and Jesus.

I was torn because I thought "temple" was a really cool word, but at church you clearly were getting a two-for-one deal!

I believed that heaven was down the toilet (because fish going to heaven were flushed). On valentines day I flushed a valentine made of a napkin down the toilet. One the day-care provider caught me singing into the toilet.

I used to believe…

When I was about 4, I used to believe that Hell was under our house, and if I was in the bathtub while the drain was open, I would go down the drain to Hell. If someone pulled the plug while I was in there I would jump out and run away, completely naked! And whenever my dad would go underneath the house, I though he was going into Hell.

I used to believe…

When I was little there was a dirt road across the street from my house. Down the dirt road there was a fenced and gated pasture. In the pasture there were a lot of fruit and flowering trees. I knew that I had found where the garden of eden was located! I would smile to myself when my sunday school teacher would say that no one knows where the garden was located - I knew- in GA obviously!

I used to believe…

When I was little, my grandma was very sick with bone marrow cancer. I had a little whiteboard with whiteboard markers so one night I wrote a letter to God on it. I asked him not let my grandma die.

When I woke up the next morning, someone had left a letter on the whiteboard saying my grandma would be fine. For the longest time I really believed God replied to my letter!

I was heartbroken when I found out my dad wrote it!

I used to believe…

When i was little
i used to think
the monopoly man
was what god looked like.

so i would imagine
little monopoly angels
and the huge monopoly man
god watching over me.

I remember once after my grandparents died (5), My dad was trying to explain to me that they were in my heart, I was told that they went to heaven and there was no possibilty for them to be in two places at once. "They will always be in your heart"
"But they're up there"!!!!!

i used to think the bell rung in the catholic church during the consecration of the host was rung by angels. i was horrified when, at age 11, i became an altar girl and the priest asked me if i wanted to ring the bell.

I was afraid to take a shower because my sister told me that when the drain was opened, the devil could crawl up and get me. I was safe taking a bath, since the drain was closed.

I used to believe…

Well, actually, it is not really MY belief.
One time, a small girl was overheard praying, she said...
Our father, who does art in heaven, Harold is his name.
LOL.